A guy goes to the store to buy condoms. 'Do you want a bag?', the cashier asks 'No', the guy says, 'she's not that ugly'
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
Q: Did you hear about the guy who ran in front of the bus? A: He got tired

Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: What do you call an anorexic ***** with a yeast infection? A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese. Q: What do priests and Mcdonalds have in common? A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed? A: Because their plugged into a genius!
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Q: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q: What do the Mafia and a ***** have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep ****.