First let say that this article is not an expose and I have omitted detailed specifics for fear of reprisal on others. It is based on personal domestic experience (as I had a twelve year genuine marriage to an immigrant - a wonderful woman who remains a friend), and several decades of speaking with people in international marriages from all over the world.

Different countries vary in their approach to immigration and my observations may not hold true within your own country.

Before bringing your lady into the country check with a Registrar of Marriages as to exactly what documentation is needed to marry her (should you both later so choose), what translations are required, and how they may need to be notarised. Have her bring such with her.

If her papers are in order they will normally be accepted by the Registrar of Marriages. I have never heard of security services blocking a potentially legal marriage, but that is not to say if never happens. I don't know.

Fortunately by far the biggest obstacle won't have to be faced by many of you, namely an obstacle directly caused due to your lady originating from a 'non-designated' country. That is my own terminology and simply means originating from a country which your government regards as being unsafe, possibly due to widespread poverty there. Normally every country makes no secret as to exactly which countries appear on its list.

Your government may for example assume that some nationalities who seek a visitor's visa simply wish to enter your nation purely for purposes of illegally permanently remaining.

If say, during an overseas expedition, you fall in love with a member of the Bonga Bonga tribe, and later attempt to bring her into your country, notwithstanding you sponsoring the lady your government will almost certainly insist on seeing her return air ticket, possibly dated no more than four weeks after her arrival.

Such return date may even be added to her visa. It's usually simply a governmental trick. She may even have to submit an inventory of all the places she intends visiting during her stay and why!

Possibly all of your government's short term visitors' visas are for six months? If so then it follows that legally she is allowed to remain in your country for that period, irregardless of any intended return date stated within her passport visa. However, legalities aside:

Although security services (and I include immigration departments) operate subject to a set of laws which relate to both you and them, in reality they step outside the law with impunity whenever it suits. They stand above the law, and order law enforcement services (eg. the police) to instigate their instructions which the police unquestioning follow to the letter.

On the rare occasions they communicate, lies trip of their tongues and can flow from even their very highest level. Reaching that level normally invokes you having your elected political representative do this on your behalf.

Think you have finally pinned them down at which point likely a passport and application papers will go 'missing' within their offices, literally for months.

If your lady from a non-designated country legally remains beyond the date of her declared return flight watch out! The remaining five months (or whatever) on her visitor's visa won't protect her if big brother visits at dawn with a secure transport van. And likely she'll be deported well before your lawyer can establish her location. But fortunately most governments are not that illegally aggressive. But some are.

Your first line of defence against her being removed from your country is to marry her almost immediately after she enters your country (assuming you pull off a miracle and get her a visitor's visa in the first place) and promptly register that marriage with your nation's immigration dept. Not ideal as likely you need the full visa duration in order to get to know her before possibly committing to marriage.

Such a rush may cause you a chain of additional problems, principally due to immigration officials not believing that the marriage is genuine insofar as both parties intending to live together and make a go of the union.

That is your quick marriage will very likely be regarded as being unnatural and fraudulent, and so expect to be watched and your movements followed by vehicle. Catch 22 - possibly lose her due to her being quickly forced out of the country, or quickly marry her and likely face the wroth of officials.

Ensure that until she hopefully eventually secures a permanent residency visa you both always sleep under the same roof. Walk everywhere hand it hand. Serious advice. Some countries may still possess the right to demand to enter your home and check your bedroom. I have no idea if they tap 'phones but such is very likely.

Expect any long term harassment you both receive from security services to become almost overwhelming at times, particularly if you are a relatively powerful person or are well known.

Such harassment sometimes continues for years after your wife has secured citizenship. For example acute immigration hassle when her parents visit to the point of breaking them down to tears, and lies being told to them by officials - for example that their daughter was illegally married and should have only married in her own country!

Before committing to marriage ensure that your lady is truly for you and that you have the necessary endless stamina and financial resources! It's the arguably toughest of challenges - namely fighting an opponent a billion times stronger than you, and one who can extremely effectively operate outside of the law. By all means engage the services of an immigration expert, but in reality he / she can do no more than a resourceful you.

I well appreciate that most readers will not be able to come close to relating to this let alone accepting that it goes on. It is something few dare speak of, and when they do - almost never in detail. Perhaps one has to experience it to believe? I was possibly one of those. As a lawyer I naively once presumed that absolutely everyone was subject to the law. Not so. Fifteen years on I still only dare write in brushstrokes.

As I said those problems are a relatively rare scenario as in most cases immigration is not a major challenge if you are both bona fide AND YOUR LADY COMES FROM A GOVERNMENT ACCEPTED COUNTRY. But it can be overwhelming when she does not, and possibly you then become targeted by immigration officials.

Next on the list of the many challenges you will face is finance. Do not naively simply factor in expected immigration and normal increased size of family costs. You need to factor in more, particularly as normally the government will bar your wife from initially working.

Sometimes your wife will have been financially supporting some of her relatives and will not only expect to continue so doing but also to occasionally visit them and they her at your expense. She may take it for granted that you know this. Few people see beyond their own cultures.

Also, factor in any necessary language tuition costs. In some countries permanent stay visas or citizenship are only issued subject to passing a language proficiency test. She may also dream of attending university for vocational training. If so, this can fit in well with the period when she is not allowed to work.

Cultural differences of course come high on the list. These are many and varied and can be funny - for example your partner becoming overwhelmed by your local massive supermarket and joyously spending eight hours just on one aisle, and maybe seeking 56 lbs. bags of salt in order to preserve cellar food during imagined months of being cut off due to expected snow .

Don't be surprised if she is immensely caring and protective of both you and your family in her own cultural way. Immense patience, kindness, and understanding has to be a exercised by you. Eat her odd food conconctions and bin your convenience food rubbish! She is demonstrating her caring. Reject her food and you reject her.

I will limit myself to just one more issue namely religion:

Most people who are not religious find it difficult to relate to anyone who holds their religion as being core to their being. Furthermore, those marrying ladies from abroad are very often themselves non-religious or even agnostics, whilst their brides can be entirely the opposite. Obviously one needs to be open / broad minded, flexible and tolerant.

Overall it possibly takes a special type of person to form a solid union with an immigrant if her beliefs and culture are significantly different to yours, so very carefully consider this before taking any positive steps, and more importantly honestly assess yourself. If you are dishonest with yourself you will later be dishonest with her, so guess the likely outcome?

And if your marriage does quickly break down, again watch out for the men 'dressed in black!'

One of my numerous dating and marriage articles published within my profile on 'LinkedIn.' (Ivan Sanders).

Welcome to M2 Wackford

* A joy to read:
Cultural differences of course come high on the list. These are many and varied and can be funny - for example your partner becoming overwhelmed by your local massive supermarket and joyously spending eight hours just on one aisle, and maybe seeking 56 lbs. bags of salt in order to preserve cellar food during imagined months of being cut off due to expected snow .
----------------------------------------------------------------------
** Nice of you to have shown the tip of Governments chilly iceberg attitude toward private citizen's doing immigration.
* In hindsight having a visitor for a few months and returning often during the first year would show respect for the Law.
* The second and proceeding years could be five months together and one month apart. Or vacation together for a month in her country.
** Canadian Common Law, Couple living together 1 year is recognized as Married. Marry or having children together with "Visitor Permit" is a "red flag" for deportation.

Thanks For the English view, as all governments are united on this.