Flirting can be so much fun, whether by words or gestures.

But in the SINGLE WORLD, at what point do you find flirting overbearing , excessive, or sleazy/slutty?

Does the person's attractiveness affect how receptive you are to their flirting or is it the delivery of the flirt that counts more than the person's looks?

In my experience, flirting is never a good thing, it only means that someone wants something from me like money, labor, or answers to the homework that's due in an hour. If there was any other flirting that has been directed at me in the past I was ether not aware of it or to stupid to figure it out.

I kind of agree with Blue... any woman that is flirting with me is generally wanting something else other than me. But I'll flirt back just for fun and breaking up the monotony (and in the extremely rare case she is sincerely interested in me). But I do not expect anything to come of it and I am not surprised when she walks away after getting what she wants (or not getting what she wants).

When it doesn't lead to anything but I feel it should, and most especially if it is meant to lead somewhere I don't want to go.

Other than that, it's a point completely subjective to me.


Yes.
But so does whole life situation.
Regardless of their level of attraction I will react differently between:
- someone I work with.
- some random stranger on the internet.
- a first date.
- a 10th, 20th, whatever date.
- the first time we have sex.

Where and when matter just as much as who, how, and why, when the "what" is "flirting."

I guess I didn't really answer your question, Peggy...

So I think we all want whomever is flirting with us to be someone we are attracted to. Generally, no one likes getting affection/attention from someone we're not interested in because we don't want to hurt the other person. (There are, of course, those that will take it and run with it and don't care if the other person gets hurt in the process.) But I think on the whole, most people want it from someone they find attractive as well.

As for me, I don't care what kind of flirting I receive - mild, obvious, sleazy/slutty, whatever - it's supposed to be in good fun. And it tells me what type of the person they are by how they flirt. And I like learning about others. And delivery can overcome any instant physical attraction or lack thereof.

As for me flirting... historically, women run when they find out I'm interested in them. So my style of flirting has been reduced to something that is awkward and not even noticeable at times which leaves me coming across as charming, considerate, and polite (which usually friend-zones me). lol

The last time I flirted with someone, I think I did it, without even realizing. I wanted to say something, anything, to break an awkward silence, because I was the new girl living in the group home, so I was looking for something witty to say. My mouth suddenly ran away with me. I ended up shouting to a housemate on the other table, "I HOPE YOU STILL LOVE ME, STEPHEN!". Everyone burst out laughing. Thankgod. When I look back, it WAS flirtatious, but not in a devious sense. I started a joke, and now I'm going to have to live with it. . Even though I never meant to flirt, Stephen then got up from his seat, putting his arms right around me, and said "Of course I love YOU. I always will", while wearing a massive grin on his face. I can't have done bad, for my first day of living there. Ha ha.

Well there are different levels of flirting Blue

I'm sure you have seen flirtatious banter going on in the forum from both males and females when there is nothing to be gained beyond the gratification of the moment.

So I think your answer to my question is that flirting becomes sleazy when the person is only doing it to get a service in return, which I fully agree with.

As with most things in life, there is generally a subjective element to everything, and you are right Tom. Flirting is no different in that regard

Actually I am not good at flirting and I am not good at seeing when someone is flirting with me.

So a guy could be flirting like crazy with me and I most likely would miss it.

Does someone attractiveness mean much..
I am not sure because one of the greatest things I find "attractive is that he is comfortable in his own skin"

I do not flirt much these days, and I am thinking it has more to do with the fact that flirting can lead to trouble. I keep things friendly but if I feel that she may be thinking there is more to it then I back off.

I never thought about someone's flirting style being a substantial indicator of their character or personality, but if the flirting is very extreme, then I can see what a revelation that would be

And as for your personal style of flirting, I guess everyone has to do what feels organic to them.

I think the less contrived that flirting appears, is the more effective it is in inspiring attraction in others . thanks for your thoughtful response

Thats what I was telling some of the guys in this thread Mary.Flirting doesn't always have to be extreme or sinister , You offered a good example of that I think

Hi Peggy
In my last short relationship, on the first date he wanted call me his "baby girl". I found that odd on first date, too possessive, I didnt care for it really, if he was trying to flirt by complimenting me over and over, it got old already!enough is enough! excessive! I like chivalrous flirting, looking into each others eyes, smiling, maybe grabbing their hand across the dinner table.
And yes their attractiveness and charm does affect how receptive I am to their effort, even more so with a good delivery of it.

You might be surprised Sitka. Just by being charming, it could come across as flirtatious ,

And sometimes the people whoare most comfortable in their own skin, pull of the most disarming kind of flirt because it just flows ...

It is very thoughtful I think when someone adjusts their behaviors for the welfare of another person, even if it comes to something as seemingly harmless as flirting. Good for you Goof !

Hey Netty!

It seems like you respond more to tender gestures, as a opposed to flirtatious words, and that the attractiveness and delivery of those gestures are also crucial to you. I think alot of women will relate to this

Agreed Blondey and I will add that flirting is often not about words alone. Its often about suggestive body language and/or tone

Oh I'm not saying I haven't seen it between other people and I can't speak for those people. I'm just saying that in the past, when ever it's directed at me there is usually only one reason.

Hey Blondey

We are on the same page

<<<< exception!

I'm oblivious it seems.