Hi,I'm Mr. X. Just turned 25. I have a girlfriend that is pregnant. She's 29 already have two kids. And now we're having one together. I'm really in a dilemma. I don't know where to start. Me and her have a On and Off relationship for two years now. We had fights too many to count but we had a huge fight last 6 months ago, about her going back smoking pot and hiding it from me.she lied about everything. We broke up and made up. She filled my head with all these nice things that she's changed for the better for her self and her kids. Thanked me for putting her and teaching her a lesson. She begged if I could take her back. And I did. I mean I already loved her kids. Also her . I do love her. That's why I took her back. So anyways, about a few weeks everything was all happy and wonderful .all loving,cuddly, making me dinner massaging me, pleasing me whenever and however I want. So I decided to give her what she's been asking from me for 2 years now . I didn't wrap it and finished inside her. After all she earned it! She completely changed for us . She's been putting me first now. Then She is now pregnant. (She really wanted it.if I didn't wrap it and do her she'd be upset if I don't finish inside her.)As soon as we found out she's pregnant, I told her to live with me. And she did. Everything changed all of a sudden. She went back to her old ways . Selfish self centered spoiled brat. And I felt like she just trapped me and used me. Now I'm stuck with in this situation. I'm unhappy. I'm afraid once my child be born she'll be back to her old ways. Drugs etc.... And I don't want that around my child or my family. I want to bail out but it feels so wrong to do that because we are sharing a hold together now. Any advice? I would really want to get into details but it would be very long. I need help. Pls

Dump her and file for solo custody of the child..Sounds like you have ur **** together..she obviously doesnt

But we are about to share a child together. I can't do it. I'm a man of conscience.

If your situation were real my advice would be to not seek advice about it on a dating site.

She's a woman (girl, really) of con-silence. 6 months of being a decent significant other doesn't earn the goo. 6 months of make believe when you thought she was pleasing you was a con job, not a blow. It's a blow (an affront) to your conscience which is exactly what she used to straight up manipulate you.
It hurts, bad. I've been manipulated and deceived more times than I'd like to admit but never gave an unwrapped present. Since you have you need to collect evidence so she doesn't give birth to a paycheck. Get rock solid evidence and legal representation. The less she knows the better but at some point she will have to find out. Cards are stacked against guys even moral men in good standing.

Good luck.

I know it sounds unreal. But it is real . Half of the people on dating sites are awake at night.and straight forward people. I can't post anything on Twitter or fb. Coz she would find out or her friends. On dating sites like this it would be anonymous. I don't have friends here in the US whom I trust.

But I really thought she was the one. That is why I gave in. I love her . People around us would always say that I'm stupid for being with her. "She has two kids already!your a young man your making a mistake." I don't care if she does have two kids. I love her. But I guess people are right all along. I want to have a child with her and she does too but her ways and attitude. Some times she wants me sometimes she don't. I told her there is no in between. It's either yes or no. I'm just thinking about the long run . She might go back to her old ways after giving birth to our child. Of there is no restriction anymore after she delivered .Evidence of what? How? And what legal actions I can take?

Move somewhere pot is legal.You wrote she earned it wow.Selfish spoiled brat you wrote.It sounded like she is sustaining from pot during pregnancy because you wrote she will go back to her old ways so I don't think she is totally being selfish.It doesn't sound like love since you are badmouthing her like this.I think you should bail out so she can have a chance of finding real love gl.

No ma'am she's not smoking pot right now because she is pregnant. I'm talking about after pregnancy. And of course you'd be siding with her. And everyone has their own opinion. I see how your thoughts are. Thank you.I'll see if I could find positive out come to your suggestions.i won't be in a dilemma if she doesn't mean nothing to me.

If she doesn't act right herself, treat you right, or even know if she wants to be with you NOW, there's nothing else for you to offer her besides a paycheck and more kids.
It doesn't mean that people have been right about you. This happens A LOT.

Not all single mothers are bad people or have the same intentions.

I repeat,

Not all single mothers are bad people or have the same intentions.

If you didn't love her ways, her habits, her attitude, and her lack of enthusiasm for being with you,
Do you really love her? Think about that for a few days. Don't answer, just think.

After a few days when you have really mulled it over, in your own words thinking about the long haul, do you STILL think she is the one. Don't answer, think a few more days.

Think logically. Think alone.

For clarity what I am specifically NOT telling you to do is call the cops when you think she buying or smoking. That could backfire in unimaginably terrible ways.
Also don't run straight to her and give her an ultimatum. That's how she got you to give up the special sauce. That could blow up in your face too.

You need to make the decision, and what ever you do DO NOT LAY A FINGER ON HER. No matter how bad she pisses you off. You can always walk away from an argument, peacefully.

Sadly half a man meets half a woman result unwanted child...

I can't beat this advice and I am going to grad school to be a counselor

she is a master manipulator

do what is right by your child

but she will not change

I would like to 100% agree on that but I'm thinking maybe he doesn't have anybody whom he could really run to and ask for some insights. I just hope the mature people here could give him lots of enlightenments and not add more confusion to an already confused man...but for me...I guess for me this man needs to make a decision not for himself but for the future and well being of his child, I guess my answer to his question is clear...The decision is his to make for his sake and his child's sake as well...

Dilema, another name for drama. Look, man of conscience, peole are talking to you like this because you only want to "talk" about it.
You could be a drama queen who's bored, making a fictitious scene to get sympathy.

Someone gave you the best advise and you said, no I'm am a man of conscience. Look, man if you really are. You made a bad choice. Do not tell me that the drug issue was a surprise. You and her were probably partaking toghether. She's probably younger than you. Now you have to deal with your consiquiences. Marry the girl or sue for solo custody for the child. Anything else and your just putzing around. Time to man up junior.

There You Go....Got Clear answers now dude??...Make Up Your Mind and Not another word of defense from you or else no sympathetic words for you on here...

You shoulda bailed out when you had sex with her. And by "bailed out", I mean "pulled out".
You gave a woman...who you admit youve been off and on with, and have had "too many fights to count...."what she's wanted for two years and finished inside of her"?
Advice? Yea....mentally prepare yourself for the next 18 years of child support....and buy a case of rubbers.

Thank you for everything guys !I really do appreciate everything little thing you guys said. All the suggestion and opinions. I just wanted to hear other people's insight on my situation. And I see that I'm turning to be the bad guy here. But that's ok. She lives with me . And it's hard for me to do all the advices you guys gave me. But I'll think about this for months. I want this child. I want to settle down have a family of my own.deep down inside I know she could change that's why I'm trying to hold on to what's left that makes me believe she can. I came to this site and got what I wanted to hear. People for different walks of life telling me what they really think. And that I thank you. I just don't have anyone here. Again thank you

Thank you for everything guys !I really do appreciate everything little thing you guys said. All the suggestion and opinions. I just wanted to hear other people's insight on my situation. And I see that I'm turning to be the bad guy here. But that's ok. She lives with me . And it's hard for me to do all the advices you guys gave me. But I'll think about this for months. I want this child. I want to settle down have a family of my own.deep down inside I know she could change that's why I'm trying to hold on to what's left that makes me believe she can. I came to this site and got what I wanted to hear. People for different walks of life telling me what they really think. And that I thank you. I just don't have anyone here. Again thank you

There lies part of the problem. You THOUGHT she was "the one". I once thought all of my ex's were "the one". None of them turned out to be that. Sometimes they just do us good at the time. I understand you're having doubts about her. She doesn't sound stable enough to be having a child with, but regardless, wouldn't you want to give the baby a chance at a stable upbringing with both parents? Saying that, she hardly deserves a man, given how she's treat you. Some people really think they deserve the world, and they turn out to be so spoilt, that it puts you off, and makes you want to run the other way.

but you trust people on a dating site you don't know...