I think the norm should be you choose what you want to do and engage how you want to engage.

Anyone is free to leave at any time.

If you have a problem with how they behave, it's your problem.


90% of getting to know someone isn't the crap that comes out of their mouth.

It might actually be helping you to learn about them if checking and playing with the phone is their norm, they're more relaxed, it's like a security blanket, they talk about the stuff they're getting, and bringing you into the "fold" of their social circle because their focus is on their phone rather than on you.

Much rather have "omg, just a second, my friend just sent me this, they're so funny, see..." than "so, um, what do you do for a living? So um what kind of superpower would you want? So um are you going to pay or am I? So um you got any brothers and sisters?"

And, personally, I've dated women that chose to spend time with me but had to compromise by taking some work related calls or texts, so the choice was either not seeing me and staying at work, or seeing me but having to bring their phone with them. I appreciated that they chose to spend some time with me, no matter how distracted.

I'm not so vain or narcissistic that I need their attention to be all about me me me me at all times even if it is a date.
Nor so solipsistic that I get all butt hurt when they don't include me in with whatever they're doing on their phone.

Of course I have no problem (GASP!) taking a date to a movie, even on a first date...where their attention isn't on me at all for more than 2 hours! Aaaaaaaaaaaagh!

And there was this one time I took a date to a baseball game on a first date......and I just watched her yell and scream and curse and we didn't really talk to each other much at all the entire time!
Aaaaaaaaaagh!
(Where's the emoji of a face with a flashlight telling a campfire horror story?)


I don't feel there is etiquette.
I'm not Little Lord Fauntleroy.
If you want people to accept you as an individual, you need to accept them, even when they don't behave how you want them to.
Acceptance is more important to developing a relationship than etiquette.

It gives a really bad first impression if you are attached to your phone on the first date. That's poor dating etiquette for sure!

Intresting topic! Also intresting captain, is the fact that there is a devide.

Could this be a generational issue? WHOA you brought your phone! Check please!
or
Please pass the pepper, um I've been asking you for the past 5 minutes
Personally when I go on a dinner date, I will just shut off my phone in plain view. My date will ask me "what are you doing?!? As if I've cut an artery. I'm just unplugging for an hour. I don't expect you to do so. This little "trick" has never worked. The look at me like I just did six shots of tequilla. But I do notice that during the date they eventually switch to vibrate. Nice. Maybe the older gen just has to show the younger gen that it's ok to unplug once in a while.

could be about age and how you were raised

can remember as a kid

we were not allowed to answer the phone if it rang during dinner

At ower age well ...

lol
liked that one :d

I remember we had a phone cord that was long enough that I would stretch it out by taking the phone into living room and closing the door. Hey....I needed privacy at age 9 to talk to my ladies.