I was wondering....For those of you who have dated women with children, how much of a factor is it in maintaining your attraction for the woman? What I mean is, if you are very attracted and compatible with the woman, would you break it off with her or become less serious with her if her kids were difficult?

It really depends on how difficult they are. I dated a woman for 6 months, then we decided to live together...I knew & liked her two kids already & they liked me as well. Well the son who was 17 at the time started dealing drugs out of the basement. So I talked with her about it being us (me & her) that would get busted if he were caught because he was under age, but she would not get strict enough on him and he definately wasn't with me because (I was not his dad). So that being said, we broke up a few months later & I moved out. He got busted 3 months after that and she was hand cuffed & taken away as well even took her computer. I think we might have stayed together if it was not for his crazy life style, we stayed friends for a few years after that, but drifted apart later. So it could really depend on the situation...oops, sorry for rambling on.

Well, I havent dated any women that have kids and im less inclined to various reasons, but if I were in that scenario; I would want to break it off but I'd tell her WHY 1st and just tell her straight that I'm not gonna hang around for this, so sort it out. (since Im in no possition to tell the kids what to do, the ball is in her court)

to clarify, when you say kids Im thinking age 12 and below.
excuse the spelling aswell lol

No problem. Rambling is permitted....... I am curious to understand some of the dynamics from a guy's perspective.

Most guys look at women w kids easy. But ones that get serious w u look at it like its not theres n drama from x, or the kids dont have dads n want him to b dad. It scares em off. Me personaly, i got a kid so thats not me, find a man that has a kid.

Oh, I have a teengage daughter, but the question is purely one of curiosity. Not asking due to any specific situation in my life.

i have dated a lady from MN who moved down to MO we lived together for 1 yr things didn't work out due to much yelling, not enough support for each other for the relationship continue..

i broke it off with her because we rushed the relationship & we didn't take are time as friends 1st & that was the one of the reasons why it didn't last plus it didn't help i came home & caught her on the phone talkking to another guy..

live & learn is my motto

teenage* Geeesh ...typing too fast...

Arcade, was the yelling and problems with the kids?

Its sad but true. Find a man that is very involved w his kids. He w understand, and wont look at them as a problem r difficult. Hope i helped ya some. Got questions u can mail me. Good luck!!

I have dated women with children and it's not a massive factor unless the kids are just demons. If the woman is good at keeping her kids in line then it's not a big deal but if she just lets them do whatever they want, not only is that annoying but it also shows what kind of values she has.

Sincere, what conclusions would you draw about her values from that?

I'm acually curious about this myself. I'm 8 1/2 months pregnant so I will be having alittle one real soon and I'm wondering what my dating life is going to be like when I'm ready to jump back in the dating scene again. Of course I won't be dating anyone that doesn't accept my child.

Well, if she allows her children to be raving lunatics without any sense of discipline, this shows that she has no control over herself or her children.

I have been in a relationship with a woman like this and it was a major problem because when I tried to help out, I would get the standard issue response from the kids, "you aren't my daddy so you can't tell me what to do" crap and from the girlfriend I would hear, "I will take care of it" and well, it is a massive turn off when things like this happen.

texasrose to answer your Q?

her daughter heard the yelling but mainly it wasn't with her daughter mainly of how we got along & her & her daughter was yelling at each other over school, her dad & her daughter didn't like being in MO

Thanks for clarifying that. I got a really good picture of the raving lunatics..... made me think of some of the kids I see out in the stores with their mothers... running amok....

Well, I know that dating a woman with children can always be difficult for a man. First of all, you will never be #1 in her life, she's already got that position filled with her kid(s). So (a man) has got to be prepared to get less than 100% from her. I also feel that a single mother is also a little more mistrusting of men in general. She didn't become a single mom from being around a good man in the first place, so she is a little more guarded when dealing with a (new) man.

In the end though, whether a woman has children, isn't necessarily a problem in and of itself. Every relationship is different, and so is every person. Sure, sometimes kids can be hellians, but they can also be very sweet, and a source of good amusement. If a man is prepared to take on dating an entire family, instead of just a woman, it already speaks to his character, and this should also take that into account.

well let me also clarify this, if the woman is actually trying to get her children under control and allowing me to actually help, that is something else but when I am told the things that I stated above, and am not allowed to contribute to the help, that is when I say bye. It's not worth my time if I'm not actively involved in the process.

Great remarks Orator. Dating the family....