thats a good qeustion where does a 40 plus go and find a date? you can always go out on the town with some friends. or??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????. every where i go people seem to aready have a mate and asking if they might see a break up in their near future might be a little risky.but give that a try and let me know how that goes,lol. do yhey have mail-order daters out there ? i thought get set up was a way to go but man i feel so desparate when its brought up or i ask . so when you find a way for 40 yr olds write a book or make a dvd i'll buy it,lol

A good question. I don't drink -- haven't touched alcohol since I was 22, and I never will again -- and I have no interest in being around people who do, so I just don't go to bars.

I live in a town where there is no way to meet anyone, and no one to meet even if there was a way.

Everybody I know is either married or might as well be....

And that has a lot to do with how I ended up here....there just isn't another option in my current situation....

so moving isnt an option? why?

Not till next summer, but I've already started looking for a place to go....

I'm gonna move next door to Gypsy and be her 'grasshopper'
LOL

Maxxx, Guess I will have to write a book about the over 40 and looking gig... We all agree, it's difficult as it truely is...we've been burnt, we get up and sometimes we try again...and again we've been burnt...most people have...so what is the next step? Talk on line and again...not go out and actually meet a human being for a possible relationship.

Hey Soldier of the blue box..*grin* ...get out there....if that picture is really you..go out and meet up with the guys who already have women...guess what? they too have girl friends who are looking....

See, it's easy to sit here at home and view the big picture....so...here I am...home....on a Friday....I gotta go out.

I've not been to a country bar in this town...and, well, not like this is the country where you would find the good-ole boys....since it's Norfolk...it will be military and who ever live there...but I just might check that out tonight. Something different.

This thread may be dead, but I just wanted to say that I'm in my 40's and am finding the same problems everyone is talking about. I drink rarely and to be honest, I was raised not to walk into a bar alone (I know, old fashioned), just moved to the area a while ago. Its been very difficult to date, or just find one. With kids and work, leaves little time to go out and find someone.

i think now--- 40 is the new 20!
back then it was old
now it is not!

u think going out into the single world at 40 is tough, then try it at 50. it gets even harder!

Where to meet Single men 50&10+/-yrs???

Take a class that is related to job skill...average age at a community college is 39 graduate classes even higher. Some classes are only one or two classes long. Continueing Education is not that expensive. For parents with dependents you might be very surprised how much scholarship money is available.

Attend a job search workship or job fair or support group. You have a perfect opportunity to look your best and meet people who more than likely have a job but are trying to better themselves or find out about a second career in retirement.

Car shows, car dealerships, car museums, car clubs; get the idea. Not only do guys buy themselves cars they buy their kids cars. Put a For Sale sign in your car and you might be surprized in the number of bachelors you meet. Take a little time to learn about your favorites and you might have a start at a conversation. Cute and dumb only works for >20.

Vote. Show up for where ever your vote counts. Someone is going to talk to you about it. It can be for a candidate, your union, or the a stockholder's meeting.

Volunteer somewhere. Whatever your favorite charity is there is bound to be a guy with a similiar interest. Habitat, the Cancer Society, the Diabetis Association, Scouting, Public Television ect. ect..

Show up for Veteran's efforts. The military is overwhelmingly male and it shows your gratitude. Attend parades and memorials. Eat at there BBQ's.

Develope and interest in a sport. You don't have to morgage the house to attend in the cheap seats. High school and college sports are more affordable. Especially if you have a student Id to get a discount. If you have kids I don't recommend flirting in the stands and humiliateing your kids but actually working as a booster or selling tickets is a great ice breaker with a variety of people.

Go to church or venue of your faith. The bigger the better or at least attend regional or state level events or boards. Lots of churches have community events and there is no law you can't be a guest. They have many programs just for singles of all age groups. It is a great place to find friends and allies as a parent.

Sell something at the flea market. This works better if you go together with friends. Or donate to a community to a community sale and talk up the products to customers. You will get over your shyness and it is a great way to note somebody's e-mail.

Get outdoors. Most guys list they like being outdoors somewhere. Don't feel really brave look for something tame and work up. Try a park, fishing at a community peir, washing/waxing the car, walk the dog or someone elses dog, ride a bike, or shop at an open air veggie market.

Eat out where working people eat lunch or breakfast. Local hotels have conferences all the time eat at the breakfast buffet or in nearby lunch spots. Hospital and medical center cafeteria's are a cheap place to do lunch after and appointment. A medical professional can not talk to you in a patient setting but you can in a public area.

Attend community events that fundraise for for your public servants many more than average are single. Guns and Hoses play offs between police and firefighter's, pass the boot campaigns, blood drives, and so on. Do you have kids? Go to their public education days. If the tickets to some of these events sound expensive volunteer to take an extra kid or sell tickets, hang posters...you get the idea.

Attend groups that are intended for singles. You have to look around many times there is not a lot of advance notice. You might want to give your email address in select situations. Make sure it is free and that your address will not be sold.

Happy Hunting.

try hanging out at your local convalesant center

Thank you Pacific Star...excellent addition to the conversation.
At the education level I am already at...I'm close to a doctorate of a multitude of courses. In otherwords, so many classes I have attended and yet I don't have the doctorate. Which is alright.
I've found a fitness group that is just about getting the heartrate up. It's a wonderful group and found some good people from that. I went to a speaker event and found many very nice looking men attending and enjoyed the conversation. That in itself was a pick me up.

Everyone, I thank you for the suggestions/advice and the contact. JumpforJoy stated that this thread is on the end of it's time. If you all agree, that is fine and maybe someone would like to begin another.

I enjoyed this due to the fact it never got rude comments from anyone and people did in fact participate in a sharing and valuable information.

So what do we say? Over or NOT Over? We could always start another discussion...how about on-line dating groups and has anyone found one that was successful? or would you ever recommend one?

Shall we start another discussion? This is a vote...so, please vote on it....Thank you

I worked in the sporting goods dept at walmart .. yeah single guys hang out there but doesnt matter much unless you have a rifle or shotgun to add to relationship...then you got he white short wanna be pro way over weight for those shorts type ... lets just say was experiance lol..... but hey the toy section does have some pretty good toys ... least not total waste lol...
Oh pre warning ... if your not in realtionship by 40 your mother may start to hit up people where ever she goes ,,, does happen ... not to scare just pre warning to those getting close to be ready for the *you should be married by now* people in your life!

Thanks Gypsy..the "you should be married by now" has already occurred...As I tell the folks...gotta date first...*grin*
Another good answer is, at least I'm not going to any high school reunion stating I've been married 4,5,6, 7 times *silly grin*. That statement is not to bust on anyone...just that I've got friends that do change wives just as fast as their underwear. I just don't ever want to be one of them.

Thanks again Gypsy

After my 1st divorce I was presented a tshirt by my mum:

"My next husband will be normal."
(he wasn't)

After 2nd divorce the new tshirt said:

"I don't make mistakes. I date them."
(ouch - rather find one on my own(and did) - forget blind dates, advice from friends and conversations with mum...she can advise, but still follow my gut/heart lol)

Older and wiser. The dating game has changed. The terminology has even changed (hookin' up, got your digits, feelin' ya). I agree that 40 is the new 20. Took me 20 years to find 'me' again and in a new healthy relationship and life is good.

im slowly creeping back out lol

get your arse back in here Madamx and ante up....

lol....i hear ya i hear ya

So would anyone do the speed dating?

You have a list of like ummm I don't know a million questions and have like 5 mins to know if you want to continue that conversation?? Ding... times up move to next table??