Our little boy is four years old and quite a
little man
So we spell out the words we don't want him
to understand
Like T-O-Y or maybe S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E
But the words we're hiding from him now
Tears the heart right out of me.

Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes final today
Me and little J-O-E will be goin' away
I love you both and it will be pure H-E
double L for me
Oh, I wish that we could stop this D-I-V-O-
R-C-E.

Watch him smile, he thinks it Christmas
Or his fifth birthday
And he thinks C-U-S-T-O-D-Y spells fun or
play
I spell out all the hurtin' words
And turn my head when I speak
'Cause I can't spell away this hurt
That's drippin' down my cheek.

Our D-I-V-O-R-C-E becomes final today
Me and little J-O-E will be goin' away
I love you both and it will be pure H-E
double L for me
Oh, I wish that we could stop this D-I-V-O-
R-C-E.

<shrug>
mine was because my wife was unfaithful

Hello Uganda

as I move around,I have come to note that most people whose marriage end up in divorce are those that got married through wedding.

" through wedding "?
Do you mean, they choose their own partners instead of an arranged marriage ?

Yes, divorce is much higher if people choose their own partner.
Because there is less sense of culture/religion/family/regional ties/obligation/duty.

Divorce is also much much higher in Western society . For the lack of the things I just mentioned & also 'feminism'. * There is good & bad with feminism, IMO. *

I hope this answer helps.

Some people don't want to be honest,faithful and work on relationship/marriage if there are issues stuff happens if you no longer can believe someone best to move on and hope one day to meet someone decent good luck

well there are lot of reason to get seprated BUT Respect, sacrifice, and compromise.. these are the things that can help avert the catastrophe D-I-V-O-R-C-E..

Of course marriage is the #1 cause of divorce.

Well first marriages it is often just youth and wanting the big party but usually people divorce over the typical differences in beliefs, family problems, money problems, sickness. Divorce is too easy to get here.

Very good post from SassyEuro2.

There are various ways to look at this. I think it is necessary to look at it from ALL of the different ways, if you want to best understand it.

* Marriage itself is a more complicated thing than the word or the ceremony explains. It means different things to different people. For some, it means a path to life fulfillment itself; it means duty to your self and to your people and to their culture. TO others, it means something more like a Service Agreement, where two (or more) people agree to perform various tasks, and or play various roles in each others lives.

Divorces did not happen, in the times and places where everyone was convinced that marriage was a controlling force, and not just a human-created tool. However, the fact that no divorces happened, didn't mean that the marriages worked as they were supposed to.

* Divorce is more complicated as well. It can be relatively nothing for some people, such as those who only marry for unemotional business reasons to begin with, or it can be a devastating destruction of a person's entire sense of value and meaning in the world.

* As someone already pointed out, from a simplified point of view, divorce only happens BECAUSE people are married. Unmarried people don't NEED to divorce.

But I know that what the OP is trying to talk about, isn't that simple, he's asking why it is that it often seems that the structure of, or concepts involved with marriage, seem to be the cause of people who are so joined, coming to dislike each other enough that love and care for each other's best interests ends.

And he's right, but even that is complicated.

The INTENTIONS behind what Marriage consists of, are there to try to do the opposite. They are SUPPOSED to result in two (or more) people, working permanently together, to build an entire existence, which benefits both the people in the marriage, and everyone else around them.

But like most human constructs, Marriages can be badly "manufactured," badly "executed," and especially can be entered in to for the wrong reasons.

So, we invented Divorce, to use as a tool to try to "repair" our mistakes.

And again, since we are imperfect humans, we can mess Divorce up as well, using it to try to accomplish the wrong things, or jumping to use it like using an atomic weapon to clear the leaves off the driveway.

So, my simplified answer to the Original Poster is, that no, "marriage" does not "cause," "divorce." Human existence is all just people doing whatever they think will "work."

Therefore, some groups of people decided that assigning who lives with and tries to help who, is the way to make existence "work." Others were unsatisfied with that "solution," so they invented "marriage." And when problems turned up with "marriage," they (eventually) invented "divorce," to try to arrange at least, for individual people to be allowed to try again.

Being divorce twice makes me an expert on the subject. One, too easy to get married, no test, nothing, just a piece of paper and a ceremony. Truthfully, most divorce couples I know including myself, just got tired of the bull **** of being married to someone that either cheats or only cares for themselves. Or after a few years one or the other decides this isn't the person to grow old with because they turn the volume on the tv too loud (yes, cause of second divorce).

Yeah, of course things like TV volumes are just the most easily verbalized mundanities, which symbolize the person's loss of faith in the other person, or in their own ability to realize their own life.


That's what things like the "seven year itch" are really all about. Lots of marriages are a lot like two people getting on a bus or a train together, and then after many miles, they look out the window and panic, because they fear that they aren't where they imagined they would be, and must have gotten on the wrong train after all.

So they get off the bus, even in the middle of nowhere, and even jump on the very next bus, assuming that IT must be the right one.

Crazy.

I was with my husband 22 years all said and done
we met while still in college
dated and were married within a year
our son was born the next year
another son 8 years later
I stayed home with my children
my husband was the provider
we went to church every sunday
I said prayers with my children each night
I cooked and cleaned for my family
we stood united in how we parented our children
we put aside money for their college
we made sure they had a set bedtime routine
we spent time with family and went camping together each year

by the book and on paper...we were almost the 'perfect' family
on the outside
on the inside we lived like room mates when he was home or we
argued over the right and wrong way to do things

two very intelligent and head strong people who argued to win most of time
and not always to find the best compromise and solution

we spent way too much time apart as a couple due to his job
and when we were together we spent our time being mom and dad
but had long since forgotten what it was to be a couple

we were excellent communicators when it came to " did you sent in that payment or where is that receipt or when is his PTA conference at school"
but ...horrible at talking about why

we don't really talk anymore, that the words " I love you" sounded sincere when said to our children but hollow and rehearsed when said to each other


I told him once that marriage is a commitment you make to each other daily it is a choice you make, intentional and by your own free will

it is not something that should feel more like life imprisonment

Because she snores.. and I forget to put the toilet seat down..yup.

All I know is !!..it takes a lot to keep a marriage together. a lot of work from both parties.. and I also know !.it takes very little to .. let a marriage fall apart... the reasons are many and at the same time..the same... our own peace of mind and happiness....

So true

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