Hi everyone, good to meet you :)

Hey, one thing I do on Christmas day is start to think about New Year's resolutions
(haha, not that I ever make any!)

This year I'm thinking about my adult-ish kids.

The first thing that jumps out is that I'd like them to spend less time in virtual world and more time in real world......
but then, I remember how my parents hassled me for ruining myself with TV
I know their parents hassled them for doing the same with radio
I suspect their parents did the same with novels
And I wonder if maybe we went waaaaay back, we'd find parents freaking out about staring into the fire!

Lol, starting to think that maybe parents just like casting blame elsewhere :D
and so I'm contemplating making a NYR to STOP hassling my kids to get off the computer.

But that probably means giving up on pushing for things I think are good and healthy - swimming in the ocean, jigsaw puzzles etc. No doubt in MY mind that these kind of activities are better, but then just coz I think it don't make it true. In fact, if I look at my own lineage, I see a trail of parents that were flat-out WRONG about this.

Is that crazy talk? What do you all think?

You are the dad. If it is interfering with family life or human interaction. Limit it or take it from them

Hi Sassy. Thanks for taking the time to respond, I appreciate it :)

Have a great Chrissy mate

If I told them once.....
I told them twice.....

Get away from those jigsaw puzzles....
Destroy your mind they will....

Being a parent is not about making your kid like you . It is about giving them the skills to live life. Knowing when to get the heck of electronics is probably one of those skills. Kids , even adults that hang on the screen too much have a multitude of physical and emotional problems.

And don't every play rock and roll music backwards. It will tell you to smoke, drink and do drugs! (subliminal messages)

Hey! 'Scuse excessive happiness...the best part about a long heat wave of 40C is when the bastard ends!! COLD and RAINING....best weather ever.

Exactly cheech. Rock and roll never ruined anyone's mind. TV never ruined anyone's mind. That was all ********.

This new thing of screen time. Am I spreading the same ********?


Pacific, I dunno mate about 'being a parent is not about making your kid like you'.
That could mean 2 things, right? You COULD be talking about mini-me's there. Or, more plausibly, you're talking about not making the kids enjoy my company.
Either way, reckon just a little thought on your part would change your mind.

And - take up golf!! There'll be local clubs with introductory stuff and ladies comps and that.
If you take to it (it IS fun) = more than likely to be a winner move on your part. Speaking of NYRs....

Mikey, I've delayed it as long as possible.....you've got me with your jigsaw comment. I DO think they're better than screen time, I really do. They're awesome! Damn it.

Haha...okay man...next one you do...

Start it in the middle...

Taking up golf and other such self indulgence is fine when you have raised your kids. Trying to be "liked" is fine when your kids are grown and have the skills to know how to make good choices. Then they come back and thank you for being the parent instead of the buddy. And later they also respect your judgement and devotion to them versus self and continue to consult/include you about the major decisions of life. Still not buddy but loved/respected and I will take that over being a pal anyday.

Oh, come now. Of course looking after your own self is being a good parent.

And the second you have a baby, don't you set yourself up to be a role model? Don't you force that same thing on your children e.g. punish when they deviate?
You sound like good people - sounds like Dad had a good set of morals (e.g. kind, empathetic, understanding) and shaped you the same and you've done same for Sons (well, hopefully, right?! :D)

Salt over my shoulder and three-kisses-to-the-cross would you understand if some completely different random mother - who had just learnt that her son had done something awful to a child - would you understand her saying "I still love him, but I don't like him"?

To me saying 'it's important that you be a parent and NOT the child's friend' is like telling me to be a head and not a body. You're just fkn tripping.

It's natural and easy to love a child. It's difficult and challenging to LIKE a child and while it's literally its impossible to actually force anything to like anything else, by golly we try, don't we?
And make a pretty good hash it too, hey? A la your family.

...at least the ones of us who are not trying to beat them into submission. You people are literally on a hiding for nothing. Short version parenting from an excellent Dad - make yourselves likeable, make your kids likeable and then become firm friends. Only worry if anything changes.

Pacific, I'm sorry to hear hostility in those things you are presenting as arguments. I mean, has any child ever once gone up to its parent and said those words? I don't think so.
All I'm saying is that I think you're wrong. You've confused things people say for fact. And I don't believe that you actually live out this philosophy.

Is a philosophy worth anything, if you don't live it?

Hey I read your profile and really enjoyed it, thanks, It was good to catch a glimpse, you know? I hope you consider the golf thing. Why don't you ask your kids what they think about it?

Short version of how to play - pick up a stick and start bitching :D

Anyway thanks guys, it's been a blast.