I 'm over 50 & don't why/ understand thread

Anything weird, confusing, bewildering , defies logic, disappeared ? List them

----------------------------------------
Examples:

1-Why don't the number of hot dogs match the number of buns?

2- Why when I type in 'Funny videos' on YouTube, the majority have half naked women, fat men, car accidents & animal attacks & slap-stick humor ?
Not funny.. Just for men?.. 3 Stooges?

3-Why when I Google ' USA news' , or anything USA, I only get a sentence with 'USA' and not America?

4- If I Google ' breaking news', I get a sentence with the word 'breaking'?

5- Why do I have to press one for English? And almost always get an automated system.

6- Why aren't American movies & TV ,age appropriate with relationships? Rarely is a woman over 40 seen with a man over 40? Do they think women don't notice this? Or know what a guy over 50 looks like?

7- What happened to benches at bus stops? Getting rid of pay phones was bad enough.

7- Why when I tell a nurse, I am not on any medication, she repeats & repeats the question as if I am hard of gearing, forgot, or am going to lie when the doctor walks in, or is everyone over 50 in this county medicated? Should I fake stroke?

8- Why do people automatically assume I have grandchildren & carry pics of them? Should I carry pics of neighbor's kids born out of wedlock?

9- Why do men over 50 who hate texting or rarely do, message & expect to be entertained ? Is it the generation or do they all have arthritis? Or worst?

10 - Why does every service, agency, corporation, store, franchise want my email & two phone numbers & zip code? Like we are fake f@c@book friends now & I need constan trivial updates from them or my fake ferling will be hurt?

it's a damn Conspiracy I tells ya,a Conspiracy!

Great expensive coffee this morning....

Needs to be immortalized in song like :
"Who put the overalls in Mrs Murphy's chowder"

Yeah, George Carlin or somebody once asked "Do you realize how many of each you have to buy to make that come out even?"

Although some bakeries are now making packages of eight buns.
Breakthrough!

And we then have to go to two stores on a quest for logic .....all that want all our contact information

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards as it is forwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

If a black box in a plane is indestructible, why can't they make the whole plane out of it?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell 'mnemonic'?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why is there an expiry date on my sour cream container?

Why call it a building if it's already been built?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?

If the front of your car says 'DODGE', do you really need a horn?

What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?

When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Do blind Eskimos heave seeing-eye sled dogs?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

Why call it "take" a dump, when you leave something behind?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do we call it a hot water heater if the water is already hot?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

Is there another word for thesaurus?

Is the color orange called that because it's the color of the fruit of the same name, or was the fruit called orange because that's its color? Which came first, the color or the fruit?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?

How can there be self-help "groups"?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Why is a pear called a pear when there is only one?

What do they pack Styrofoam in?

Why did God give men nipples?

Is grass really greener on the other side?

Do boxer shorts box?

Why do you wear a pair of panties and only one bra?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why is it called a "near miss" when you don't hit something?

When sign makers go on strike, is there anything written on their signs?

Before the light bulb was invented, what appeared over peoples heads when they had an idea?

If you spin an Oriental person around and around, does he become disorientated?

If a vegetable goes into a coma, is it called a person?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why does the word monosyllabic contain five syllables?

If you wear an antennae to a wedding, would the reception be better?

Why is abbreviated such a long word?

If you put a chameleon in a mirrored box what color would it change to?

Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know the time? Do I point to my crotch when I want to know where the bathroom is?

Why is there an 's' in lisp?

If you were scared half to death twice, would you be 3/4 dead or 100% dead?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If you ate pasta and antipasti, would you still be hungry?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest end up drowning as well?

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

If you asked a librarian where the books on self help were would they tell you, or would that defeat the purpose?

If ATM stands for Automatic Teller Machine, why do we call it an ATM machine? And if PIN stands for Personal Identification Number, why do we call it a PIN number?
?

Tomishereagain,

Only a few of these, have I heard before. Like the Barbie/ friends one.
Some gave me a chuckle.
But this one......
"What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?"

.... I think I laughed so hard I might of stopped breathing.

Thanks...

metalwing,

10 - Why does every service, agency, corporation, store, franchise want my email & two phone numbers & zip code? Like we are fake f@c@book friends now & I need constan trivial updates from them or my fake ferling will be hurt?

All the entities mentioned above provide some sort of spelling assistance.


Could you be a dear & proof read email to the Deutsch Bank?

Why did God make the earth round and then disperse people to the four corners of the earth ?

That's easy.... Genesis 1:28

Wrong answer. God has a sense of humour, I hope.If he hasn't I'd better start praying.

The corners are for the devil

http://www.google.com/search?q=four+corners+of+the+earth&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

http://www.christiananswers.net/q-eden/edn-c017.html

http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/the+four+corners+of+the+earth

The Spirit
The Body
The Intellect
The Emotion

If you think of the world as a projection of yourself, The four corners might represent the extremes of Self

Why is there 60 minutes in an hour
60 seconds in a minute
but 10 tenths in a second?

Who determined that North is up?

Who determined that the solar system spins in a flat plane horizontally and not vertically?



Why are the land masses all pointy at the bottom except Australia?



Why do we think the Sun is above the Earth when it is actually beside it?

Why are names passed down by Father's names but genealogy is traced by mothers?