There's this man with a bald head and a wooden leg who gets invited to a
fancy costume party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his
head and his leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the
problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note. "Dear Sir, please
find enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your
bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate".

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his
wooden leg and so he writes a really rude letter of complaint.

A week passes and he receives another parcel and a note, which says,
"Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monks habit. The
long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will
really look the part".

Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company a
REALLY rude letter of complaint.

The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads, "Dear
Sir, since we have not been able to make you happy, this is our last
suggestion. Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses. Pour the molasses
over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a
Carmel Apple.

lmao... THATS GOOD 1