I was just reading over one of my threads and the different reactions that I was getting from the women posters. I don't like dull and humourless people, so I tend to use a lot of humour as a way to find out who they are.

What strategies or unconcious habits do you use to filter out undesirables?

time

I get you but that can be like a giving someone enough rope to hang themselves strategy. I think that I prefer it to making snap judgments about people and just dismissing them because they're different than you are.

oh I tend to weed out the ones whose morals do not coincide with my own and the ones who cannot keep up with my wit or understand my humor.

it says that I have them and they are important to me

now since entering the world of online dating I have come to realize
that there are many people who do not share my value system


this of course is their choice. I however, also have the choice whether or not to communicate with them.

Now I got a helluva sense of humor about some things
but if its sexist, racist, demeaning or cruel? probably not

What strategies or unconcious habits do you use to filter out undesirables?

Background & Credit checks.

Right. So, that's pretty much any joke then that would offend you and you would never say anything that you thought was funny that might hurt someone's feelings? You wouldn't make sarcastic remarks about men that you thought were sexist so that you and your female cronies could point and laugh at him?

Who are you speaking to?
I answered you honestly.
In real life I would do background checks. I don't think a sense of humour is a good indication of being a good or stable person.
A criminal can have a sense of humour. And each person's idea of humor is different.

Just stuck up strictly to what you really are and you wouldn't even need to filter out others.....whoever remains with you over certain period of time are worthy of really being with you.

I totally agree with you Prashant, very well said......

I personally as TMOMMY stated have to have someone with common goals, morals, and beliefs to be compatible. I know for me I have to have someone that can or will communicate well.

That I usually figure out pretty quickly if I am pulling teeth in the first couple of emails I usually move on.

Everyone has their needs and wants out here. If they themselves know what they want then it is easier.

@ Sassy: I was responding to the other poster.

Thanks for your reply anyway, however evasive I might think that it is.

The question was about what you do before you got to doing background checks though. You don't tell a guy in a pub that you'll maybe talk to him after you've done a background check on him. It's a question to think about because if you don't think that you're doing it then it's just because you're unconciously doing it, or simply passively sitting there making judgements.

You've really never done something or acted in such a way that you were testing somebody? Say, to see if he was a gentleman?

OH as your post states above this is meeting in person for the first time. Several things click into play, his smile, his eyes, how he carries himself etc.. Things just click and how easy is he to talk to and to what sincerity does he display.
I have a pretty good BS meter that has worked well over the years. IF a guy i sincere in what he is saying it will show.

Cheesy come on antics just dont' work with me never have..

To be honest I do nothing because I have made this mistake before, not paying attention to someone because I did not connect to their thoughts or humor on a set of subjects only to find out later that once I met them they are good people and I have a lot of common with them. I guess I am saying I like to take some time before passing judgement, people can surprise you.

Could be a first meeting. Could be a situation where you're trying to atract the people that you want to atract and filter out the ones that you don't. It could be someone posting something on the internet and some people getting it and others not doing so.

I'm thinking of it in terms of what you project of yourself and how people respond to it. It could be the way that you dress. It could be spouting some opinion or proclaiming that you have morals. It could be my saying that I like big boobs to see if someone's a goer or a prude. It could be a woman saying that A guy from a dating site sent her a picture of his member and what do you think about that? Why do you think that a woman would tell me a story like that? To see if I'm a perv as well maybe?

on the Internet i just post on things that interest me, I don't think I filter-out but rather filter-in I read almost every reply in topics and eventually I get a 'feel' for that person, im not focusing on my dislikes straight away, but rather my likes. Sure sometimes you find out later that the ones you initially liked have a crap-ton of your dislikes but such is life ans you move on.

In real life it is different, sure I do test to see if we'd be compatible, that is one reason I suggested I'd want a first date at an amusement park, I'm curious to see what rides are their favorite, if they are afraid of heights, if they are afraid to get their hair wet, etc.

I was dating a girl once, she seemed nice and all, and then we went to an amusement park I can honestly say it was the least fun I've ever had at one, she didnt want to ride anything, afraid of this, afraid of that,
it was then I realized that she wasn't for me, I'm more adventurous. I broke it off soon after.

So now I skip straight to the amusement park

If I encounter dull and humourless,
I return it in spades.

Weeds out the undesirables rather quickly.

Attraction and dating in person.

You seem to be talking around the Hawthorne Effect.

What steps do I take to account for the Hawthorne Effect in dating?
None.
It's pointless to do so.

Because you aren't an observer. You have a vested interest in interacting with them.

If you try to be just an observer, you've guaranteeing it will fail as you become distant. If you distance yourself from them on a date, you are communicating you aren't interested.

If you try to interact and play games as tests, you aren't guaranteed to get a real response in return.
The people you are playing games with may not be retarded so pick up on the games and play them in return.
e.g. you try to be funny to manipulate them? They can choose to be dull and humorless or neutral in order to avoid being manipulated, but they can be the life of the party when someone isn't trying to test them and play games.

Well, that would still tell me something about them I think.

I was in a relationship with someone that used to try to wind me up all the time. She might do something to make fun of me and if I didn't find it funny she would tell me that she was just having a laugh and she didn't think that I would take it that seriously. "Winding people up" is a very common form of humour in the UK and it can be considered to count as wit here to do it.

My humour isn't forced (even if it may be somewhat exagerated on the internet) and if I do this filtering thing it's a habit that I've developed. At some point during a date I'm almost inevitably going to say something that I think is funny or witty, even if it's just a piece of sarcasm.

I don't know any guy that doesn't go out on a date hoping that she will be what they call "a good laugh". "Must have good sense of humour" is a non negotiable for millions of women. I can't really speak for anybody else but if my date just sits there like a humourless misery guts they aren't getting a second one. They might not consider themselves to be humourless. They may well enjoy a little light humour but are the sort of person that can't take a joke. It's bloody awful spending time with people that want to enforce their standards of social conduct on others, such as snobs and the politically correct. We aren't going to get on and I'm liable to just say something to offend their sensibilities to tell them in no uncertain terms that they can piss off.