I've always been curious about the inner workings of the human mind. What makes folks do what they do. On that other site I'm on, Some months it's all I can do to get anyone to talk to me. Other times they are blowing up my inbox with one message after the other. Some want to gripe or ask me to do something about someone else.

A lot of times I get these that just want to either talk or blow off steam. This past week I had the opportunity to talk to several different women. They all pretty much wanted to talk about the same thing. Which led to all of them telling me pretty much the same thing.

None of them are that interested in any of the men that write them. I took it at face value. But when questioned a little bit, I got answers that at the very least seemed counter-productive to me.

When I asked how long each one had been on the site. All had been on site between 1 and 7 years. I asked each one if they ever got any dates. All had gotten dates at one time or the other. But none were interested in who they were dating.

What I don't understand, If you're not that interested in any of the men that write you, why are you on a dating site? Especially from 1 to 7 years. When asked, What do you do when guys write you? Some say they just un-read delete. And others said they read it and delete it. Either way, guys are writing for nothing. When asked, Why are you here then? Each one said the same thing, "I don't know." When I told each one that they were wasting other people's time and upsetting some. Some of them said they didn't care. Others were indifferent.

It's hard for me to wrap my brain around this type of behavior. Maybe some of you folks can enlighten me

Would you rather get no reply at all?Some people are on here looking to socialize.Some just haven't found anyone that interest them.Some may not be ready for whatever reason but they still look.If none lead you on then at least you got honesty. good luck in your search

I can't recall how i came across this site & just here for interactions, i haven't actually tried hooking up with anybody or ever searched for a match, it's the only dating site i'm on

Here to Mingle

here for the free popcorn

come to mama

't account for others but I have several reasons for being here but a big one is to date age appropriate men. Which I do.

But my profile clearly states I am not going to date younger than 56 year olds and I still average a hundred a week messages from men between 40 to 55. Why for the life of me I don't know because it is such a waste of their time. Sometimes they do it over and over and then get hostile if you tell them not interested or repeatedly delete them. And demand to be friended like that is going to work. I only figure they are used to bossing their Mom's around. But how is busting someone's chops going to get them anything but deleted?

Sorry double post

came her cause the search said single's video chat
so i signed up and left for a couple weeks cause there was no video chat , but came back , is still the best singles sight i have found so far , least amount of scammers and a great group of people
still looking right now , will change my profile like i did last time to looking for friends , come to think of it , i think it is still set on looking for friends : )
here for the free pop corn and the chat and if i am really lucky a lady to spend the rest of my life with , other then my dog : )~

when I first joined mingle maybe almost 2 years ago, I thought it was time to start dating again after a couple of years being a hermit.
at the time I realized my heart wasn't in it.
when I got to a point where I was more open to dating, I did start exchanging messages and made some friends. I met a couple of the guys from mingle. one was local but we weren't a good match. another it worked out fora awhile but I wasn't his happiness.

eventually, I met someone outside of mingle. now I'm just here with the friends I've made.
in order to not waste anyone's time, my profile states I'm not searching.

Thoughts to ponder on why people utilize the dating sites.. First, its safe and a person can hide and represent him/her self in a variety of guises shy, assertive, masculine, feminine,bisexual,passive, teasing, playful,critical, obnoxious, demure, vicious, compassionate and a host of others.Second, the safety and security of a screen also allows for peoples emotional needs to be tested, experienced, modified, changed, contradicted, such as getting a lot of attention, not really wanting to actually meet just enjoy social masturbation- playing with others peoples feelings and expectations about potential meetings and possible sharing of friendship love, sex, hobbies, interests, gossip,and many others.also being able to enjoy attention and interaction with less experienced participants so that long and extended communication is engaged with no actual meeting made just the expectation that is offered with results pending.. Third, boredom, apathy,desire to tease manipulate and exploit others for their own amusement. Fourth, some type financial,or compensatory benefits,for problems and issues offered that need solution with a transfer of funds, money orders etc..Fifth a genuine desire for friends, lovers and marital partners as well Sixth, some people are here just to experiment and actually do not know what they are doing but play it out as it happens.... Would share more but im tired,...

I'm not talking about myself. Myself could care less. I was talking about women on another site that messaged me. What they said and how it made me wonder about different mindsets. Why they think the way they think.

Most of these women are here to waste men time. They are looking for a man that exist only in their imaginations. Some are fakes and scammers, while others are looking for a free meal

Hello. It sounds like u asking what does women want. Most of them don't know themselves what they want. And it seems they want anything but to find a date. Some looking for the business partner ( eah right, on the dating site), but most of I talked want "favors" like a credit card or expensive gifts. So. There is the answer -many are here to get something they don't want to work for.

I am here for the forums, I had a few dates from some of the locals but 8 out of 10 that email me are scammers. I stay because of the nice people I have met in the forums, they really stand out and its nice to check in on them from time to time, but hey you never know I just might meet a nice woman for companionship on here stranger things have happened.

There are lots of classes and programs and books that can offer information on that.


Convenience and social training?
People are trained to go to the store.
You want a stereo? Go to the electronics store.
You want food? Go to the grocery store.
You want gas? Go to the gas station.
You want to see a movie? Go to the movie theater.
You don't really know what you want? Go to the mall.
You want a date/relationship/easy social interaction? Go to the online dating site store.

Sometimes people only know where to go (and are comfortable going there) if there is a specialized location.
If there is a lack of an alternative, they'll just keep going to the same store hoping the selection will change.

It's easier to keep doing the same thing and hope it changes.
Eventually, that just becomes "the way it's done," and ultimately part of their identity. They don't know what to do with themselves otherwise.

No different than the "main drag" for high school students that used to be prevalent with cheap gas.
On Fridays and Saturdays teens would just drive around this one area, hang out at sonic, or dairy queen, or McDonald's, or some drive thru.
Just because everyone else did.

People herd.
Then build their own social groups (real, virtual, or simply imagined) that incorporate the location they all have in common.

No different than internet forums, or book clubs that become wine clubs, or high school main drags, or nightclubs that become dive bars complete with barfly regulars.


It's distracting and easy and I don't have to think or care like I do for the other internet places I have to be and it offers trivial inanities I wouldn't otherwise cogitate upon.

Isn't doing the same thing over and over again and always expecting a different outcome the definition of crazy?

Was here to mingle!!! Since I don't find what I want, I'm just here for free booze...and free smoke

Friendship, plain and simple

Here to meet good people,make friends and probably a life partner