Guys..., pls post some funny reasons for not to get married

Here's a scenario.

Priest: Bimsky, you are 32 years old now. Why aren't you getting married?

Bimsky: It's because I have no pig?

Priest: Huh?

(In the Philippine, most people will get married if they have live stock. If you don't have a pig. Don't get married...LOL)

Because I'd have to be someone's wife? i don't know, marriage isn't for me, but to each his own.

Here's another one. A conversation between a priest and a adult name John. John is a tenant of a farm.

Priest : Hey John! You are already 35. Why aren't you getting married?

John: Expensive to get married. No money, No Pig, No Chicken, No House and no land. No buffalo. No,no,no,no....no get married....no budget....

Priest; Huh?

(In the Philippine, most local filipino who live in a farm province will not get married if you don't have this things...LOl)

Well, she might want a traditional Scottish wedding and there's no way that I'm dressing up to look like something off a shortbread tin.

Statistics prove, that marriage is the leading cause of divorce.

I know weird right...like birth being number one cause of dying

I am scared of getting married because after the wedding ring it is pure suffering. I hardly met anyone that is happily married

Can't do the latter, without doing the former... first.

Because the vows say "Until Death Us Do Part" and I don't want to get killed if he changes his mind. Or I do. lol

In the USA, statistics says 50% of marriages end in divorce. In my case, it's 100%. To me, better plan the divorce strategy right up front, same as pre-planning your funeral.

I know quite a few people that are happily married. I'm too selfish to get married, it seems to be a lot of giving and taking and one person is usually on the receiving end of all of the taking and compromising. So I'd rather be single. But yeah, I have lots of friends who are "blissfully married." I say good on them.....I prefer my alone time.

You're both transgender and no one can figure out whose special day it is?

You can't find anyone that deserves to wear a virginal white dress?

People are becoming more secular and going to the courthouse and waiting in the arraignment box with all the criminals for your turn just isn't as special?

Due to the economic downturn the only honeymoon you can afford is a two night stay at McDonald's Playland?

You met her online so she already has four kids, therefore it's obvious marriage isn't necessary?

Then try not to make your bride suffer.

pssst next time? use this for that pesky ring around collar
and just put wedding ring on your finger