Someone said something in another thread that caught my attention. Don't get me wrong i'm not saying I have all the advice to one. just a thought went through my little brain

I see how alot of people will talk about making a relationship work. The thing that went through my head is why try so hard when it should be somthing that is just given. In any relationship that your in you have to let the person be themselves. People are not something that are broken that you can just fix and everything will be alright. It takes time to get to get to know someone or them to get to know you. Love is something that is feely given and not somthing you can controll or buy.

So why do some people try so hard to make things happen when it should be freely given?

Well said Shadow!

Nothing that great can come so easily, It all takes work. And accepting others flaws is just a part of life.

Yes, you reap what you sow... but If it's a chore to sow anything, why bother? one should enjoy working in love's garden or not do it at all.

desperation. and fear. and insecurity.

and because long term especially any relationship requires
work. sometimes it is just light housekeeping. a little dusting.
re-organizing the silverware. sometimes it is weeding and
planting. sometimes it is demolition and rebuilding. but there
is always some work to be done. sometimes it is almost
effortless. but anybody can do that. when it comes time for the
real heavy lifting...that's when you find something out about
you and your mate.

Ill have to dissagree on that ouchie. When you meet someone it starts out as a friendship and it build up from there. if your honest with yourself and what you want or maybe looking for. A person that is the same way will see it. If love has to be pushed then it's not love

Yes there is work to do.....but it shouldnt be so hard. If you are constantly fighting over the same things and nothing is fixed then you keep doing it.

Love shouldnt be hard.....

falling in love is effortless it's true. but maintaining
the relationship lovingly...well not so fast...in the long
run....

Yes, but even friendship requires understanding and work does it not?

gypsy thats what i'm getting at. it shouldn't be so hard but your right about it does take some work

If your banging your head against the wall then its hard.....

Not really and ill say this because, every friend I have on here that became my friend was a freely given choice. not by my doing

Love is not effortless... but if the desire to nurture the relationship isn't the intent for both parties... there is no worthwhile relationship.

I didn't say it didn't take work.

But there are different types of work:
For instance the everyday grind of your 9-5 job may be work you HAVE to do, but don't necessarily like to do.

Cooking a Wonderful Meal and spending 4 hours preparing and creating it is also work... but you did it out of want. You did it with passion.

So- it depends if the "work" you put into your relationship is WANTED to be done or FORCED. If it is FORCED, there isn't much reason to hope for success.

Exactly lol....You disagree with me that it takes work then agree with her that it does...I'm confused? lol

lol. Ill explan what I mean about work was what singingmyheartout said. work that you want. but what i was getting at as far as the topic goes. There is that work that is over done. pushing to hard to make things work. lol

Well, You can push someone all day but, it's like a horse..You can't make em drink so, Why bother? I only do "willing" work myself ;)

Shadow...I agree with what you say!..Sad, but so very true ..people in general take the path of MOST resistance..rather of least resistance..I am guilty of this in the past, but have learned through experience that for me anyway, just allow things to be and to unfold on there own free will...
My assesment, and I'm not saying I'm right, is that people in general feel somewhat 'incomplete" without a significant other...hence, the insecurities, of which we all have to some degree, and molding people into something of which they are not!!..it is a pity!!...
I am so happy, content with being single and continue to share with friends...