i am with a woman that is older than me .. she doesnt want to have kids with me...she lives with roommates ..she wants to get another house and have me help with payments, which i can do but i'm not sure if i wanna make that kinda commitment to her . i dont know what to do

oh sounds like you do know what to do
you just need to sit down with her and talk about this
before moving in together

The post is a bit vague, does she want you to move into this new place with her, or are you just helping with payments

she really does love me but i'm not sure if i feel the same way.. i mean she has 2 sons that are older than me..

Well like T said, you know the answer already, that much is obvious

My advice: Do an extremely close evaluation of how she feels about you. Does she love you? Kinda love you? Semi-love you?

Sounds like you're kinda disappointed she won't have kids.

You didn't specify either your desire to live under same roof as her? If you do want to live with her then that's kind of another disappointment.

I'm not sure if making the payments is worth it. It really depends on how you feel about her.

Well hopefully her 2 older sons will take you under their wing and accept you as their little Dad.

IMO, Red flags all over this set up.

If you're not in love with her, I suggest you not to live together she might want to use you to help with the payments. Good luck and best wishes!

How u

"get another house" is vague. Rent? Buy? Lease? Rent to own? What does "get" mean?

Other than that, take your emotions out of it.
Talk to a lawyer.

You can do things like:
1. Cosign any loan or property ownership involved, demand your name is on any titles or leases, so any property is also yours, to a certain financial degree which you must live up to. If your relationship fails, or either one is unable to contribute to the mortgage, you both have to agree to liquidate or forfeit, but you aren't just out everything.

2. Have her buy it, have everything in her name, create a lease arrangement if you want to live there too and treat payments as rent, but only if you actually live there.

3. Make it a loan payment. Your payments to help her with the property constitute a loan, not a gift. Make up promissory notes or loan agreements.


This matters not at all.

If you just willy nilly give her money to pay for property she owns, or is solely in her name, that makes you a sugardaddy and her ultimately a whore.

If you're rich enough where you just don't care if it all blows up in your face and you are just out of whatever money you give her, then great, good for you, go for it, money doesn't matter.
If this financial amount effects you in any way, then protect yourself.


Talk to a lawyer.
Not internet strangers on a dating site.
"Love" and emotions really have no bearing on this.

Unless you're married, you shouldn't mix finances, or offer any kind of gifts or loans of cash.

Watch Judge Judy or The People's Court.
There are daily occurrences of people saying something like "I loved them, so I gave them a ton of money for housing, rims, a car, clothes, rent, fake boobs, hair extensions, whatever, and then they dumped me, cheated on me, stole from me, refused to pay me back, kicked me out of my home," with the judge ultimately saying "you have any legal paperwork? No? You just gave it to her and lived off expectations based on emotions? So sorry, you're entitled to nothing, you lose, think more next time."

hello

Man I would run while I still had the chance.

Pretty much OP... IF you don't want a long term relationship why would you move in...Out of loneliness or comfort zone?
I would take a long hard look at the relationship and if it isn't what you want don't do it.

Ok op.. she doesn't want to have kids with you..?... but she's okay with you paying for a house..hmm.. sounds perfect..lol... don't let her go..lmao..
. she's a keeper..

^^^^^


^^THIS...

Be careful she could be using you..

any little people in here