lol, sounds like you have a good time at work...here are a few rules to remember...

when you clock in...yell " Hey why is the clock wrong"
when you go to the bathroom, always write something inspirational on the wall. Try and be poetic as possible.
when it's lunchtime, always sneak out a few minutes early, if you get caught...tell them you thought you were late. This only works once, use it sparingly.
When it's time to knock off, have a look of apathy on your face...i know it's hard to hide the smile, but this is crucial.
When you get home, call your boss, discuss the day, do this once a week...he/she will soon tire of it and avoid you like the plague.
never discuss your w/e plans with coworkers, if you are asked..simply say i'm staying home this week end....when asked on monday say there was a change of plans.
Only accept calls from your friends on the weekend, If your boss calls you on the weekend...he wants something...avoid this. use any excuse listed below...

1. I was at my grandmothers for her birthday
2. I went to the orphanage to deliver some gifts
3. I was looking for my cell phone, i left it at wal mart
4. I went to the habitat for humanity meeting.
5. I was so sick, the vending machine needs looking into.

for further excuses email me, i've been in this position so long, i've heard it all.

here's a great one for when you get to work and decide you want to go home....My (insert name) has locked him/herself out and needs to use the car for a doctors visit, and i really should be going with them. I'll be back tomorrow. use this one sparingly.

You know what, if we(JSH members) can all get on one them voice conference chats, you and anyone that can sing us karaoke. I can't sing, I just giggle....