When he told me he loves that I'm a mom. He then said he loved my boys. Said maybe he wouldn't love me as much if I was not a mom.
I feel strange about this...almost defensive. ??????

well, I would take what he said as a "WTF" type of a statement.. pretty odd thing for someone to say

Ugh! What's my problem?

what.???? how old is he any way? that is purely strange

He is a man you have been.dating for some time now and spends a lot time with you and kids doing 'family'.type activities?he has been married before?

I know he loves my kids. I can tell they've grown on him. I don't doubt he loves me at all but that struck me as odd. He said nothing wrong really. English is not his native language so I'm wondering if that's part of the issue?

He's never been married. He does have strong family values. Oh gosh your gonna think crazy but he's not met me or my kids physically yet. (I think this is my problem) Hours and hours each day in skype though. He has taught them to play guitar he calls every morning. He finds ways to be as attentive to all of us with out actually being here. Lots of communication with us. I know his family as well as my own. Talk to his dad more than anyone in my family. I feel stupid for letting my kids get involved and there's that chance its not gonna work out.

Ask him to clarify
might clear up the misunderstanding
could be difference in language style

well...if it was hellsboy I wouldn't worry about it. He comes up with some odd ideas


Do you think when he said he would not love you as much if you were not a mom, was maybe a clumsy way of trying to express just how much he loves you because you are a mom. guys are usually pretty clumsy at this sort of thing.

all in all it was positive....take and run w/ it

well...if it was hellsboy I wouldn't worry about it. He comes up with some odd ideas


Do you think when he said he would not love you as much if you were not a mom, was maybe a clumsy way of trying to express just how much he loves you because you are a mom. guys are usually pretty clumsy at this sort of thing.

all in all it was positive....take and run w/ it

I have talked about these things with him. I ask what if when we meet everything's different?

I think that's what he ( its not hellsboy lol) meant. I have a lot insecurities.

seems odd to me. theres a few things running around my mind, but im really protective over children so it could just be me.

Alright I'll say it
how the hell is this guy supposedly love your kids if has never met or spent time with them?

im glad you did say it and exactly!!

to me he seems over keen of your children, and pedophiles can act like that, im not saying he is, but just a possibility, and when children are involved you need to be so careful.

Leaving having never met/skype dating/pedophilia aside...what he may have meant was that he loves the woman being a mom has made you. Had you not been a mother, you most certainly wouldn't be the same person you are today.

Carrie, women who are mothers ARE different than women who are not mothers in MANY ways...You know this!...Some men might feel the differences are negatives, others, like your man, consider them a positive...How blessed you are to be in love and loved by the latter...Stop over thinking and accept that he was paying you the highest compliment a dating mom can hope for...What he said was, "I love you more because your are mom to these boys."

it could be a cultural kind of thing besides the clumsy way of expressing this.

a long time ago I first met my step sister's man. he walked into their kitchen when we were both at the stove working on Thanksgiving dinner. he took an appreciative sniff of the homey smells in the kitchen and said there's nothing more beautiful than a woman in all her glory in the kitchen.
at the time this would have normally offended me as being chauvinist. but his was a genuine appreciation and he told my step sister how she always makes their house a home.
it could be something similar with your man.

if you've already found things in common with each other before now, I would take his words as a compliment because he's saying you're a great mom.

all I can say is... the dingo ate my baby.
the dingo ate my baby... ...

Like I said clarify with him.first
could be as others have said
that he loves that you are a loving
nurturing mother


could be he has mommy issues
looking for instant family
wants to move into yours
could be he is looking for someone
to take care of him or replace family
he once had


if I were you and you want to know
if he is interested in you just for you
I would make certain the first few times you meet it is a date with just two of you

if he keeps pestering to meet your kids or it does not feel.right then cut and run