Hi Ladies and Gentlemen.I am new to this site. ^^ I have..A problem I cant seem to find a girl who honestly loves me ya know? I dont know maybe its because im nervous when it comes down to speaking to girls or its just that girls really dont like me :/. I mean I think I try enough to be a good person, I work hard on a lot of things I do, what do you guys think? please help me!

Think you are a normal twenty year old.

Who is, because of your age, basically invisible to women. Sorry you are in the zone that is too old for high school/too young for most college and working females; many of which now days have a child.

Know you don't want to hear it but you are too young to be thinking about love and lust will just mess up your life.

Work on your job skills and education, making some peer age female friends not getting too focused on a sweet hearts and the situation will eventually change. That will happen faster if you maybe join some kind of young person social skills development club like YMCA, Jaycees, or Toast masters or even take some dancing classes and volunteer somewhere you get to meet people and interact.

I would suggest the Veterans Administration because it can be a great way to a good job and there are certainly a lot of Vets that would dearly appreciate a polite young man, especially a minority, to relate to.

When you are busy the time will fly by. BEST OF LUCK .

PS. This is and adult site, NO WHINEING, if you want to be taken seriously.

Have you thought of just looking for a girl who honestly wants to sit across from you at applebee's sharing some potato bombs?
Rather than looking for a girl who honestly loves you?
Focus on the beginning first?


Why are you nervous when speaking to girls?
Are you scared of them?

Is it because you want something from them and are afraid they won't give you what you want? So it's not nervous being around them, just that they have the power to deny you gratification?

Are you afraid of saying the "wrong" thing and it will lead you to feeling judged? Maybe that she'll reject you and then go write in the XX quarterly journal about you?


No one likes you until you give them a reason to.

If you act all scared and nervous around people they are just going to assume:
1. You have something to be nervous and scared about so they should have something to be nervous and scared about, and getting away from you will lessen their feelings of being scared and nervous.

2. You don't really want to be around them, you want to run away, you're antsy and distracted.

You teach people how to respond to you by how you act around them.


If you have to try to be a good person, then you're probably not.
As you're "trying" to be something else.
If you're just a person, living by what you feel is good, then you are your level of good person.
Which you should be content with, rather than "trying" to live up to their idea of how good you think they think you should be.

IMO it's more important to be consistent with yourself and who you are rather than constantly "try" to be better.
When you end up failing to be as good as you idealize, it can lead to all sorts of negative esteem problems.

It can also lead to all sorts of unreality where you think you're a better person than you are, unable to face where you might not be perfect, looking for others to prove how good you are as opposed to accepting them for who they are.

Or even just start judging them as not as good as you because they don't "try" like you do in the same ways.


If you google search "overcoming nervousness" or "overcoming fears" or "overcoming fear of girls" or "overcoming nervousness around women" you can find just TONS of different opinions and help on the subject in so many different ways it seems impossible to believe one wouldn't be compatible with you.


And personally, I disagree with this

IMO you should never put off focusing on one important aspect of your life to solely focus on another, possibly trying to deny yourself completely.

You will simply retard your abilities and bring more problems onto yourself.

Although, with so many other people following advice like this (you're too young! Wait until you're older! Get a career! Get an education! Just sow your oats if you have to, it shouldn't be a focus in your life!) then when you're 40 you might have a lot in common with people that have 20 years of cumulative bad habit relationship skills that stopped developing in any healthy way since 20.

Of course you can't find a girl who honestly loves you.
That is because love has to develop after you meet a girl.

No offense meant, you haven't been here a month. Finding true love at any age takes more than a month. The only thing a person can find in such a short time is lust, interest, strong attraction. True love takes time to build. IMO

I think if a person feel desperate to find something quickly, people can smell it just like an animal can smell fear. So take a deep breath and enjoy the journey. I know your age is is normal to be in a hurry when you get to our age group we tend to take more time...

Best wishes in your search.