There is some truth to what you are thinking but it still comes back to the fact that you can be a rebel without a clue or you can make minimal concessions to fit into the "norm" of what people will give a chance at first impression.

Counter culture females that want to harp on the whole inner beauty is the whole enchilada, can get old and real tired before they trip over the one person who will buy into the blah, blah, blah; which is really just another version of like it or jump it / my way or the highway.

When you get lonesome enough and find that the rhetoric is really just and excuse to hide behind because it is more comfortable than trying to fit in, it could be too late.

Believe me as you get older the odds are still good you will find a single but the goods that are left are more likely to be just as odd and entrenched in their "ideas" as you are. So life will not get easier.

I am not saying be a total sell out but why is it so impossible to think that being a little feminine and friendly with modest female clothes and a smile is such a personal self betrayal. Don't you have some expectations of men to fit into the/your standard format? You can't expect a man to see beneath your skin if what he sees says angry girl that wants to cut his natural urge to be attracted to you down as something vile. Unless you really want a castrated man. I am pretty sure you really don't want that when it is all said and done.

A much simpler answer to this VERY old and VERY commonly asked question...

the reason why people don't choose mates based on seeing into their hearts and souls, is because people have NEVER been able to see into each others' hearts and souls.

Even without the obvious but less accurate point about DNA driving us to choose the healthiest (i.e. the most physically attractive) mates, the simple fact that all we CAN go by is appearances (both physiological and behavioral), is why we proceed to do so.