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Here is the topic: Let��s start over:

A great topic to discuss views on. It is very true that some people are afraid to love and be loved. It's as almost love and loving feelings result in them feeling Claustrophobic. Deep down inside they want love, but also they are afraid of it. It's a conflict inside. Sometimes it stems from being hurt badly in the past by someone they may have been deeply in love with. They let that affect them, and don't look forward to happy, healthy relationships in their future, after some healing time.

Then what happens in the cycle is, because of their past - they look at someone else in their future, with jaded eyes, or through jaded eyes - thinking and/or judging that their past hurts might repeat itself. When in reality, that other someone in their future is a wonderful person, who they could have a great relationship with, healthy and happy. This also keeps them from moving forward. This jeopardizes them from having a great relationship in the future.

Love is letting go of fear. Fear and love can not exist together.

The cycle involves people loving people who can not love back. They back away from love. When things start feeling too close, and happy, they back away, because it triggers the fear in them. And only when they've had some time away, does the fear then subside. And then only once the fear subsides, do they start missing the person again, and wanting to be together again. Then the cycle starts over again. At the fear stage, all they can think about is to get away, distance themselves, because of the fear. Once the fear subsides, after they've had some time/space apart, is the only time they can feel the loving and missing feelings again.

Sometimes the reason they're afraid of closeness and love, is because for some reason, it results in them feeling trapped in some kind of way. And they just have difficulty moving forward in relationships.

Some may overcome their fears, but some may never be able to, regardless of the circumstances. This is a real phobia, which actually needs professional therapy/counseling to overcome. Furthermore, this is a problem that can only be solved by getting inside the minds and exposing it. Similar principle to an alcoholic problem. Only once you realize it within yourself, and admit it to yourself, and recognize that you might have this problem, is the first big step to solving the problem. Otherwise, you will just continually push people and love away. Understanding the problem is the first key. With this insight, you will have the tools you need to know what is happening, and take control of your life, and the life of your relationships. Then, and only then, will you be capable, of having the kind of love you need and deserve.

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Beauty Brown Eyes