Relinquished (aka Freedom)

The clarity I could not find
The balance I could not attain
The tranquility of my heart I could not master
Until I reined it all in
Green eyes shining with envy
Heart filled with anger, resentment,
Clenching and unclenching fists,
Until I stopped and got hold of my better side
This isn’t you, I told myself over and over again.
Let go, it said, gently, over and over again
Until the feelings subsided, and my heart was calm
And my fists were gentle hands again.
Emotions had been felt, rose, peaked,
And were overcame.
I’m sorry, that wasn’t me, I said.

They knew. They were grateful I came to my senses and smiled, greeting me
With open arms, warm embraces, happy grins and
Two words made it all the better.

Two words that made me feel like I was home again in my happiness
Like I was reclining on a warm blanket on a sunny summer afternoon
Welcome back.
Suppose I had come back.
Or maybe I was never there, and this was the emregence of my true self.

either way, the choice was made, and the gauntlet had already been run.

And I came through, not conquered but he conqueror of my own worst evil,
Myself.
The frightened, weak-willed, callow creature I was, so apprehensive of the world, so reticent about the experiences of life and love and heartache and pain and fear of that pain and all else that goes with love… he was no more.
For that moment, he was no more.

I know he’ll show his face again, because he is a part of me, just as I am a part of him.
We cannot be separated, truly, because we are one.
He’ll show again, but I’ll decide when.
The power to release him was tempting…but it woul’ve ended things on the sourest of notes.

I had to do more than just lock him away into my subconscious.
I had to beat him down righteously before I did.
He lays peacefully in the dungeon of my mind, which to him is a paradise.
I have essentially relinquished myself from his influence.
When I have to be afraid of something and it’s rational….then I’ll let him out.
But for now….I am free.
Now, I’ve left the dungeon to experience the light of of the sun.

It’s blinding, but only for a moment.
And then, in my newfound freedom, through the tears of joy that only liberation can bring…
….I finally see!

Self transformation...i like it...

'Beautiful Piece'! Keep 'Shining'!

will do!

yeah. takes a while, but we all grow at different stages and ways. intellectually and emotionally.

Keep on moving

All I can do is move forward, onward, and upward.