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| Topic: Who's to blame? | |
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Never Waste your feelings on people who don't value them. 
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So I met this chick online. It started out as just a fwb thing, and I developed feelings for her. After a few months of dating and hangin out I confessed my love for her. Long story short, she turned out to be a pathological liar and con artist who took me for everything I had. BUT...I was being passive aggressive and just telling her "Here...take my money...take my things...is this want you want?". I didn't expect her to ACTUALLY do it. Oh and did I mention she was a pill junkie and used me to get her dope? Anyway...after all the lies, and deceitfulness, I just couldnt take it anymore and had to break it off. And...like an idiot, I'm still seeing her "as friends". The thing is she keeps making me feel bad and guilty about how I broke her heart and ruined her life. I keep telling her why I broke it off, and how she hurt me too. I forgave her and let it go. She apologized and said she was trying to get clean, and wants to try again. But, everytime were together she always has to break down in tears and make me feel like a piece of dirt for "what I did to her"...never once mentioning what she did to ME. What should I do about this? she was using you as an Enabler,that's what Addicts do! Walk away in the opposite direction,or even better,run! Until she decides to get clean on her own volition,it is a losing proposition! |
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From my observation here.....most people are either junkies, psychopaths & just plain f**kd up....makes me wonder sometimes what im doing here...oh Yes the forums 
Which one are you, Romeo?... 
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So I met this chick online. It started out as just a fwb thing, and I developed feelings for her. After a few months of dating and hangin out I confessed my love for her. Long story short, she turned out to be a pathological liar and con artist who took me for everything I had. BUT...I was being passive aggressive and just telling her "Here...take my money...take my things...is this want you want?". I didn't expect her to ACTUALLY do it. Oh and did I mention she was a pill junkie and used me to get her dope? Anyway...after all the lies, and deceitfulness, I just couldnt take it anymore and had to break it off. And...like an idiot, I'm still seeing her "as friends". The thing is she keeps making me feel bad and guilty about how I broke her heart and ruined her life. I keep telling her why I broke it off, and how she hurt me too. I forgave her and let it go. She apologized and said she was trying to get clean, and wants to try again. But, everytime were together she always has to break down in tears and make me feel like a piece of dirt for "what I did to her"...never once mentioning what she did to ME. What should I do about this? Dude, quit playing naive - she wants more pills. Either you are still dosing her "as friends" or you are trading pills for "benefits". If you care about her and want her to get well - leave her alone! |
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Robhoskins stated >>>
If she want to talk , I could be a friend to her aint got nearly anythink that can be taken anyway lol . and interested in why people act some ways ! :) . Not like I have a female human waiting for me to come to her so why not ! Been waiting for so long for a female to come find me but that ain't happened yet or would not be messaging on this site , so why not if message me will give email address if want ! She'd suck you dry {mentally and financially} and walk away from your withered remains without a look back and nary a second thought of you or concern about your welfare either! That's what druggy's do and you are not equipped to handle the plethora of problems/baggage that come with a druggy - are you? Ever do any clinical drug abuse counseling of any kind - any where - EVER? Sinema stated >>>
Rob. I think thats what she was looking for in me. And I really did try to help her off the junk, but...deep down, she wasnt ready to quit. Or we would still be together. I forgave the lies and manipulation, because that's just how I am. But I just couldnt stand by and watch her kill herself. I admit, I have my demons too, but I sacrificed them for her, hoping she would do the same. Llyn. You are absolutely right. Everything tells me I should just forget about her, but the love still lingers, and I feel sorry for her. I'm not getting trapped in her web again though. Strictly friends. I still would like to try and get her some help, but only if she's willing. You've just proven that you aren't up to her qualifications for conning people and that she's already 'USED & ABUSED' you like a doormat and you think you'd be ok to 'just be friends'...are you for real??? You feel sorry for her = U R an enabler with a martyr complex. And yet you had such clarity of mind to be firm and warn Rob away from her lying/conniving ways! 
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What should I do about this?
Get her to come on this site and respond here or start her own forum with her side of the story? Uhhh...to help you better...not for my or our own entertainment. I forgave her and let it go.
If this were in any way true, this thread wouldn't exist. But really What should I do about this?
What can you actually do? I mean you already tried I just couldnt take it anymore and had to break it off.
That didn't seem to work.... So what are your options, as you see them? And which are actually realistic to your capabilities? The ONLY way you're going to stop is when YOU want to for YOURSELF. ONLY WAY. I know. I've been there.
Do you believe this? Because studies show the people that go into treatment due to being ordered to do so by courts or pressured into it by family members (the majority of all those that ever get treatment since people don't really want to quit) do better in overcoming addiction compared to those that "just do it for themselves." Remember in sociology or psychology 101 the experiments on authority? Milgram experiment? And, in general, Nazi's trying to use the excuse "I was just following orders!?" The majority of people will act and accomplish things due to pressure from others or in following authority figures and will spend more time prevaricating and trying to figure out what to do when left to their own devices. Hell, look at this freaking thread. You need other people to tell you to get over her because you can't kick your addiction to her. So this notion "I will only help if they want it," is just self serving on your part so you don't have to take responsibility. Either take responsibility, or get out of there absolutely. Otherwise you're just as much to blame as she is for anything. |
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As a man...I always take the blame. And then I buy the gal a purse, new walk in closet....max out my credit cards...I am a gluttem for punishment.
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I reckon she's really hot.
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As a man...I always take the blame. And then I buy the gal a purse, new walk in closet....max out my credit cards...I am a gluttem for punishment. Lies! |
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So I met this chick online. It started out as just a fwb thing, and I developed feelings for her. After a few months of dating and hangin out I confessed my love for her. Long story short, she turned out to be a pathological liar and con artist who took me for everything I had. BUT...I was being passive aggressive and just telling her "Here...take my money...take my things...is this want you want?". I didn't expect her to ACTUALLY do it. Oh and did I mention she was a pill junkie and used me to get her dope? Anyway...after all the lies, and deceitfulness, I just couldnt take it anymore and had to break it off. And...like an idiot, I'm still seeing her "as friends". The thing is she keeps making me feel bad and guilty about how I broke her heart and ruined her life. I keep telling her why I broke it off, and how she hurt me too. I forgave her and let it go. She apologized and said she was trying to get clean, and wants to try again. But, everytime were together she always has to break down in tears and make me feel like a piece of dirt for "what I did to her"...never once mentioning what she did to ME. What should I do about this? Get the hell away from her! Lessons learned! |
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So I met this chick online. It started out as just a fwb thing, and I developed feelings for her. After a few months of dating and hangin out I confessed my love for her. Long story short, she turned out to be a pathological liar and con artist who took me for everything I had. BUT...I was being passive aggressive and just telling her "Here...take my money...take my things...is this want you want?". I didn't expect her to ACTUALLY do it. Oh and did I mention she was a pill junkie and used me to get her dope? Anyway...after all the lies, and deceitfulness, I just couldnt take it anymore and had to break it off. And...like an idiot, I'm still seeing her "as friends". The thing is she keeps making me feel bad and guilty about how I broke her heart and ruined her life. I keep telling her why I broke it off, and how she hurt me too. I forgave her and let it go. She apologized and said she was trying to get clean, and wants to try again. But, everytime were together she always has to break down in tears and make me feel like a piece of dirt for "what I did to her"...never once mentioning what she did to ME. What should I do about this? Get the hell away from her! Lessons learned! |
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Hey Pot call the Kettle black much?
You knew she was a junky which made her and easy piece of *** you could use when you felt like it. That is and always will be what FWB really is. If you felt guilty and or fell in love with her then you are getting the self inflicted misery you deserve. I doubt you love anyone but are more than likely a sex junkie with a "Save a Ho complex'. It is just now you are whining about your mess to see who else you can drag into it because it got to be more than you could manage. Neither which is going to end well for you or any future person that gets involved with you so most smart Mingler's will steer clear. This is and always will be two dysfunctional people who use each other to keep the drugs flowing and the sex available. Well until one or both of you die of Aids, kill each other over money/property, and one gets a "hot" shot because you are running your mouth on line or you go to jail for being a drug supplier and/or homicide. The only dating advice here is sign yourself into rehab somewhere and get your own problems worked out. Maybe then you will know when you get into the program deep enough how to extract yourself from the "relationship" but I am telling you this is not love or a "relationship". |
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