Topic: Get over it | |
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Ok this is something I have never been able to do as easy as others.
After a hurtful break up, I have been told just get over it like nothing happened. People have told me after a break up they just walk away and "oh well....their loss". Is it really as easy as they claim? Are they putting on a front? I'm not talking about a date or short relationship. How easy is it for you to just "pfft see ya later"? I do get over things and all but 1 ex boyfriend is still my friend...but that took time Just curious how you feel. When I hear someone say that, it makes me think of something I saw on Facebook. Telling someone to get over it is like breaking someone's knees and saying walk it off |
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depends on that relationship and how much ya feel doesn't it?
cripes I was a mess of a woman for the first year after my divorce and I was the one who filed for it |
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depends on that relationship and how much ya feel doesn't it? cripes I was a mess of a woman for the first year after my divorce and I was the one who filed for it That's what I am thinking too. Butseems no matter what or who...I have heard people say the same thing Maybe it's their way of giving the person stength and encouragement? |
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some of us never get over it..
... how can you care for somebody and just walk away like they never exist..... |
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I saw that on FB as well. Strong emotions are difficult for me. It's not easy to just get over it, especially if love was deep for your significant other.
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Edited by
Pansytilly
on
Sun 04/12/15 07:49 PM
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Yup... I agree.. took a few years and a lot of tears for me...
It's an emotional investment. It depends on your level of attachment and acceptance of the situation. You don't really get over it completely like nothing happened...you just get through the trauma and move on...learn your lessons and hope you're not too damaged for the next relationship, to still be able to appreciate it... Its like that for all deep relationships, not just SO's... |
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some of us never get over it.. ... how can you care for somebody and just walk away like they never exist..... Very true. Guess for me I move to a different stage of caring if that makes sense |
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I saw that on FB as well. Strong emotions are difficult for me. It's not easy to just get over it, especially if love was deep for your significant other. Me too. I have a big heart which is usually too big |
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So is the phrase "get over it" a way of telling someone to stay strong? Maybe they are putting on a mask?
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Every one has to get through a break-up in their own way. Anybody who tries to tell you how to do it or when it should be done by is nuts. How can they have a clue about the depth of your feelings, and how deeply the break-up has affected your life? I've had some relationships I was so ready to be out of that it didn't take too long to get past it, and some that seemed to take forever to heal from.
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Pretty much for me, when my husband passed away it took me about 3 years before I could even function.
When I left my ex husband that one took me about 3.5 years to heal, Domestic abuse in that one. When I love, I love all the way. When I dated someone for a couple of years that one took me awhile. I have to heal it hurts.I have to know that I have worked all through the process's of grief. I know, I have to ,forgive myself and him, for dropping the ball on what could have been and accept what is, before I am ready to get back into the saddle again and date. Then they usually become a great friend Now if this is someone I haven't invested a lot and it was casual dating those are easy to wish them well and move on.. Those I get my favorite pint of ice cream... watch boohoo lifetime movies, eat all the junk food in my house then go the gym for a marathon week of 2 hour work out for about 5 days sweat him out and I am back to being a happy camper.. rofl.. |
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Some people react with fear, "there, but for the grace of God, go I"
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Thank you guys
Feels good to know I am not the only one that can't just get over it like I can switch my feelings off and on like a light switch |
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Edited by
Pansytilly
on
Sun 04/12/15 07:53 PM
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So is the phrase "get over it" a way of telling someone to stay strong? Maybe they are putting on a mask? Depends, really... Some say it because they feel that the relationship isnt worth it, to begin with Some because they really dont know what else to say Some because they think you should just toughen up and not whine about it Some out of genuine desire not to see you in pain |
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So is the phrase "get over it" a way of telling someone to stay strong? Maybe they are putting on a mask? |
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It takes a long time..how ever long you were together it will take that long to get past it,at minimum.
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it can seem like you will never feel normal,or like your self again,at least for me,,kept thinking how do you pick up the peaces after 18 years,how do you get on with yor life after so much truma to your soul,noing that things will never be the same,,but as i have, most of us move on, and start to injoy life again, and find happyness
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I think sometimes you go through a grieving process. You take as long as you need to deal with it. Keep smiling and when you are going through something negative, look or think if something positive. This helped me through the darkest day
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Edited by
yellowrose10
on
Sun 04/12/15 08:02 PM
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Awesome replies....thank you
Maybe it's just me but sometimes I would LOVE to just get over it...until I realize that I learn from the experiences, makes me stronger and makes me appreciate things I might have taken for granted So my answer is no I won't just get over it. I will go through the grieving process and come out better |
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Like many people here, I love hard. No, of course, you're not going to get over it. The recovery process takes years if you were with the person for a long time.
Life is pain. |
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