There is nothing worse than being unhappy because you have decided to let your circumstances decide what you feel inside. Until you really decide that you want to be happy, you never really will. Until you decide to hang around positive people with positive mind-sets’, your mind-set will probably be heavily influenced to be negative. Until you decide to not only think about what you want to do, and who you want to be, you will never be that person. Being happy is good for your health, but being happy is also a lifestyle, a set of choices will determine everywhere you go in your life. Remember that you can only be limited by what you have now if all that you choose to see and focus on what you have now. You can only be happy if you can appreciate all of the times in your life, from the good to the bad… Let your heart be free, reject negativity, engage in love, happiness & laughter, respect yourself and walk the path you had been made for. Its yours to decide!

'Mesmerizing Stuff'

Beautiful & so true.
IMO we also have to prepare for those people ( even family & friends), that don't want us happy or peaceful or serene.
Could be misery loves company, or envy , or that don't adapt well to change, or don't believe they have control, or they themselves are addicted to drama & chaos.
But.. that is their problem.
It takes courage to be happy.

SassyEuro

Agreed.

And
We can remain happy-

by changing the circumstances around us (difficult)
Or by ignoring the immediate situation and concentrating at important time ahead.

All be happy

Very Well Said Sassy

Ainia

good thread

Ditto

I liked everything in this post... I have to agree being "happy is a lifestyle change" when we decide this for ourselves it is something we have to actively seek out. I find there are some people that aren't happy within themselves so they automatically try to bring down you if you one of those blessed people that have chosen to be happy..
Good to see you out here

SitkaRains

"Being happy is lifestyle change"

You have given a new comprehension to like minded.

good

thank you

The challenge in this, is in the details of the mechanics of actually DOING it.

We need to help each other with it, because it really isn't a simple thing at all, to have someone say "think positive," and turn your life around, especially when times and circumstances are so very rough.

After all, what is the difference between "thinking positively," and "self delusion"?? There certainly is a difference.

And what is the difference between urging someone to find their way to happiness, in spite of the most horrible and painful of circumstances and occurrences....and callously blaming a sufferer for feeling crushed by all that has happened to them? There is certainly a difference there, as well.

I suggest that we share with each other, that facing life with as much happiness as we can is not at all a simple thing. It is a complicated skill, which each person must actually work and learn a great deal about, in order to manage it. It certainly is the best course to set for yourself, but it is not at all an easy path to follow.

I definitely agree

I totally agree being happy isn't easy, actually it can be dang hard. I remember when I lost my husband I was in such a depression for about 2.5 years. I had to have help.
One of the tricks I did was find something each to do be thankful for, there were some days that it was nothing more than a ray of warm sunshine on my face. There were some days that felt like I was sliding backwards; yet I was determined to climb back up and continue that journey to be happy again.

Some days it can be a challenge even today over twenty years later I find I am sliding into negativity and I have to stop and remember the basics. Because it is a lifestyle change for me.

An excellent example of exactly my point.

I decided (partly out of laziness, I admit) that henceforth, my New Years resolution for the entire Twenty-First Century is going to be:

"Work to find the bright side of every situation and occurrence, even if you have to carry your own flashlight."

A lifestyle dedication indeed.

Happy some days have my ups an downs mostly downs sure need a change think might start by moving to a different planet don't seem to fit in this one.

sometimes you just need to be sober to get your head cleared...

This ^^^^^ a mature response indeed.

Sure there is.
Lots and lots of things.
Ultimately your feelings are how you understand your circumstances.
That's how your body works.

You experience stimuli, that triggers emotions, that helps you determine what you should do about your circumstances and what your circumstances are, what you are reacting to.

Is it worse to let your circumstances decide what you feel?
Or for you to force your feelings to define your circumstances, which is more like wallowing in your emotions, manipulating your perspective on your circumstances to justify how you feel, to continue feeling how you want to rather than based on reactions to reality?


IMO most of the time people that "decide" to be happy tend to chase happiness just like heroin.
And it leads to really "bad" behaviors and judgments.

Like anyone that doesn't immediately make them happy, or causes any kind of negative non happy emotional reaction, at any time, must be "bad" and something negative in their life.
Many times this just leads to conflict avoidance at best.
But they don't see it as such, only that they "choose" to be happy and to avoid negative things in their life.

All emotions have purpose.
They aren't a reward system.
They can't be.
If you constantly chase one emotional high, you will constantly need to chase things that offer the greater emotional reaction, discarding that which doesn't get you "happy" like it used to or in comparison to something new.

Ultimately, when you chase "happiness" you end up getting into simple transaction based relationships that are only valued and valuable as long as they offer something to be happy about.


Thinking about what you want to do, who you want to be, is no guarantee you will be that, have the ability to be who or what you want to be, or that what you end up with is actually what you wanted.


Are you defining being happy as the absence of stress?
There is a difference between being happy and not being stressed.
Lack of stress is good for your health.
Your lifestyle can determine how much stress (anxiety, fear, worry) you experience and influences how you do handle what stress there is.
A lot of a persons lifestyle is based on whatever reduces their stress levels.

A lot of people that chase what they think will bring them happiness, fulfilling "benchmark" goals of happiness, can bring themselves under a lot of stress.

A lot of people delude themselves into believing they are happy when they've simply worked really hard to build the idea of what they thought, chose, would make them happy, to find out in hindsight after it finally implodes that they weren't really happy.

Crack heads are happy while on crack. That's a lifestyle.


How is appreciating, enjoying, and valuing what you have now bad, or limiting?
How exactly do you determine if you have enough or need more?
How can you judge if you are "happy" enough now as opposed to how happy you "should" be, or how happy something "may" make you?
That seems to be a huge problem.


This is specious at best and can easily be used by stalkers to justify behavior.
And let your heart be free...of everything? Even happiness?
Isn't that what free means? Completely unfettered?


Is "appreciate" the same as "learn from?"
I know people molested by parents and rape victims that don't really "appreciate" the "bad" things they've gone through.
At best they rationalize acceptance so they don't wallow in the negative emotions trauma and stress have caused.

Do you really believe people should feel happy and appreciative of something like that as opposed to working on mitigating the consequences that arise from the wounds?

In many ways that seems to be what the OP advocates.
Don't heal your wounds, don't pay attention, really, to how they may affect you...just manipulate your perspective and perceptions to see how it's good and let it make you happy.

This is so very true and I agree 100 %!