Last night I had a dream and I saw again people form my childhood only grown, yet frozen in time
remembering their names and the pain
how one boy said he HAD to turn away and PRETEND not to know me
if anyone saw him talking to me that was one of his relatives because of the same reason the mother of the guy who broke into my rental and beat me up and tried to kill me said after she called me,"after all, what do you expect, you're just an indian?"
I guess I had bottled up all that pain and like the volcanoe rumbling today it came up in my dreams
and the one girl who said I will sit by you and be your friend
and I said "Forget it! I don't need anyone."
In my dreams I remembered her and heard she had died, and I could not breathe and my heart wanted to cry
In my dream I could fly
and I flew above all those who said those hurtful things
as so can we all
if we try
and believe
and let go of hurtful feelings

I don't often talk aboit my dreams because when I do people look at me like I'm crazy. I believe that things we suppress in our lives may come out in our dreams, that being said, our dreams are not like our lives. No one says their prayers buttons up their pjs and asks for a nightmare where they see themselves dead. It does happen though. Like how you flew (rose above in maturity) in your dream, you can't really fly nor would you actually try to do so. That doesn't make you crazy, it may mean even though you turned the other cheek to those who insulted you, you harbor some old regret that they did not accept you for who you are and you may somehow be attaching that rejection to the ultimate rejection you got from your ex husband. What we suppress in our everyday lives cannot play out the same in our dreams because thinking (as well as actions based upon those thoughts in the prefrontal cortex or planning center of our brain) and dreaming occur in very different areas of the brain and involve different brain chemistry. We don't ask to have strange or prophetic dreams, it just happens. I too have strange and strangely disturbing dreams, only when I awake does the nightmare begin.

See what I mean? It seems unreal, knowing that you are dreaming when you notice something impossible happening like people being frozen, flying, out of body experience etc. This is the point when most people would wake up. For unknown reasons some people don't. Once you know that you are awake
and things seem to be normal again something SO unlikely happens that you feel like you must be dreaming. I can't tell you how many times it has happened to me.