Hmmm, how do you learn to trust after you have been lied to, cheated on and played? Do you give it time or do you just jump straight back in to the dating pool? What is your way....?

Hi Ladywind!...Good to see you!...In answer, I have done both..I've jumped right back in and I've taken a long sabbatical from dating...Both worked because it was all about forward motion...Moving away from the hurt and toward something positive...Like Mingling for instance!

I am starting to come to the conclusion that men don't love. They pretend to want love when they want sex. I think women will never get what we want, but men often get what they want, but they still complain that we don't give it out easily enough for them.

very candid of you to say this

ladywind,
i dont have much experience on the topic, but i found it very very hard to learn to trust as openly as the first time. it's very difficult to find that meeting of two minds who are in the same page. not everyone can so easily trust others, or our own feelings. personally, as much as i want to, sometimes it just doesn't play out as well as it does in our heads...

i agree with leigh, sometimes we need time out, sometimes we need the extra exposure. it really depends on you, as long as you move forward

I disagree

Me too....

I think it's all about learning from your pass experiences, and making wiser decisions!!!

I like that Leigh. I have the desire to jump straight back in. I felt that it was wrong or heartless, that maybe I should have more self control. But truth be said, I am excited to love and be loved.

Girl, men do love, you have been around the wrong men.

Yes, we are complicated creatures indeed

So agree, where did you get all that wisdom from lol?

Yup, I disagee too. Loooove is as necessary to male or female as the air we breathe.

The important thing to remember is that we are not all the same.I have always had a few close,amazing,platonic girlfriends,so when i got hurt i never got bitter and twisted like so many men and women do.It does make it difficult when some keep going on about how much they were hurt,completely ignoring the fact that the opposite sex gets hurt and played too.I would just go with what feels right,don't rush,and give it a go.Even giving it time can make little difference.There are so many variables,but so many good/bad people,we all end up taking the same chances in the end

Love that stands the test of time,
Endures the greatest pain;

Standing firm against the storm,
And yet, still love remains.


A calm among the storm tossed winds,
A peace down deep inside;

Will keep that faith alive and strong,
As long as love abides.


Love that conquers anything,
Knows only how to give;

Asking nothing in return,
A love that will forgive.


It looks past any sorrow,
Much stronger than the wind;

The faith that stands the storms of life,
Will be there in the end.


Faith that's given everything,
With nothing left to gain;

Will find the strength to give yet more,
When only love remains. :-)

[Allison Chambers Coxsey]

Ok...I'll jump in...Love is what happens between a parent and child, that is unconditional...it does not happen at any other time. Most people cannot even give you a description of love...it varies from one to another. Most of the time it is the chemical reaction that happens when we are attracted physically to another and if the attraction is mutual then we have "lust" which is commonly believed to be "love". Does love exist? Can you give yourself totally to another person and accept them for who they are? Most of us can't because we need or want other than being willing to give and accept. It is mutual, no doubt and it is rare when 2 people can come together and pull it off. Just my warped opinion on "love"

...Nice...jump back in !

(Although, you might realize that because of that bad past experience you might have certain red flags when there is nothing to be worried about ? ) I DO very much relate to what you went through....so just keep in mind it's not your "new" lovers fault....and enjoy every minute !

Yay ! Well said Maxisu

I think it's not true that love can only be between a mother and her child. I think men can love if they choose to, but that would take some effort on their part. I think moms should be paid and not glorified for doing their job.

Some of us DO love. And we get hurt too. One of the problems with my ex was that she wouldn't ask for what she wanted or needed from me, and then was angry that she didn't get it. Go figure.