How do we heal after an emotional set back? This is a problem everyone has faced. When I was 19, I was devistated. Took me 2 years to get over it. Second time, it took me a year. I think the older we get the quicker we can heal. Once you realise that there wasn't a damn thing you could do to change the situation, you can move on.


Now, if you had issues that led to that heartbreak, and are aware of this, then guess what? You are on the road to healing. It's when you sit there and keep asking aking your self why, and have no answers is when you are in a state of confusion. I know this crap I've lived every side of it. You must come to grips that that either you or your partner had issues. You can deal with yopur own and improve your future. there is nothing that can be done to change to other person. So work on yourself, be happy with yourself, be aware what the failure of your past, so you can have a future.

I wish you all the best.

Emotional healing is NOT an easy thing. Things come so much easier if your esteem...is right there. Lack of...or low self esteem...can be an issue not easily dealt with. You say to work on yourself...after a while...when is ENOUGH...enough.

Interesting topic, thanks for sharing...

Puffins, you said when is Enough..enough. If I read that right? life is alway going to go on and there is always something to learn about it. What I got out of this and thevocalist mentioned it. Is everytime you go through something and hopw you learnd from it. The next time it comes around... you will know how to deal with it and have a better understanding of it. if you so chose to grow from it.

Shadow...

I believe everything that I have gone through in my life has lead me to now. I hope I've grown from each experience. As far as a better understanding, I would hope so. Somethings take longer to understand, sometimes I'm just tired of beating my head up against the WALL. You know what I mean??

Well, Wall hitting gets painful.

im in the "emotional healing process".. My ex and I dated almost 3 yrs(throughout highschool) and went through so much together, and a stupid little thing broke us up.. It totally blind sided me when he broke up with me, i wasnt expecting it at all.. That was a couple of months ago, and I still feel like kickin his face in.. He's around me still, as a friend, so i guess i have to deal with it.. GRRR!!!!

emotional healing is not easy
I can't say it get's easier with age
depends on what you have to heal from...

I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on it...

i really needed to hear that tonight. Thanks. Sometimes it seems that you will never heal.

That's true, in my mind with what I;ve been thru I've found, It's much quicker to rebound from failed relationships. Maybe cause my guard was still up enough I never fully fell. Either way call it defense, call it experience. I learned how to heal and move on.

Puffins, yeah I do understand but there is one thing I do know and have to keep in mind. what ever I go through in life, I don't have to go through it alone. Well most things Ill say.

As for the topic. Healing starts with areselves as most know, but we tend to get caught up in are minds and it can run wild. Are minds are our worst enemy, it's learning how not to listen to our thoughts at times and look at what is right for us

The healing always has to come from within, it's just recognising it, and not dwelling on the past.

Voc -- I've been in this phase for the past year and a half, and the sheer inconsistency is the worst part for me. Some days, I feel like I'm OK, and ready to move on -- the next day, I'm firmly entrenched in memories and regrets. Letting go is hard, especially after losing the only "right one" you've ever known....

They say time can heal the worst of wounds, and I tend to believe that. But then, of course there's always buspar, and prozac............. or maybe zoloft.........

Hey Lex, maybe it wasn't the Real one. I thought I had that too for over 20 years. You know , people change. It was hard don't get me wrong, but when I realised there wasn't a damn thing I could have done to make a difference. I let it go. What a releif. You can stay dancing in the mud brother. Just reconinse it was her or you or both. You can work on the you, but the her part, forget it. All I ever wanted wanted was to be appreciated. I got that only the first few years. I could work 15 hours a day trying to meet her demands. Even when I did, not appreciated. I'm a much happier person. Never thought I could
start over at my age. I was wrong. There is hope.

Emotional Healing?

You mean having to do the work?

Having to own your part of it?

Having to strip away the delusions that one sat under?

Having to take ownership of a situation that arose?

How much does responsibility one place on another?

I hear it here in the forums, "she was a cheater, he was drunk and an abuser, she was a crackwhore, and impolite with it".

For as long as people buy into victim mode,for as long as people want to drown in disappointment, they will have wounds.

It's easy for me to sit here giving out advice, from a place of assumed knowledge...but I am not...and refuse to..

However, I've lived it...

Abusive childhood, streetkid, homelessness, drug addictions, violent relationships, more abuse, infidelity, broken dreams, distrust, rape, the whole box and dice.. and all the other blah blah blah that goes with it..

I have, and did have, two choices...wallow in self pity and throw a huge pity party and invite all my injuries....or get on with it..

Own it...sh*t happens...what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...own your own sh*t...

And work through it...some of it I couldn't be responsible for...most of it I am..I made choices and decisions from the age of 15 indepentently from any exterior guidance..

People are people...the good, the bad, and the ugly..

I don't get to judge them, I get to learn them, and through that, learn me.

A wise woman told me not so long ago, "Support the strengths, not the weaknesses"...that statement is applicable as much to self, as to others.

I am so sick of this trend of the 'wounded victim'...the completely selfish denial of any responsibility..society medicates and encourages this mindset, with anti-depressants, therapies, and excuses..

The 'poor you...it's all their fault you poor thing' mindset turns my stomach..

Bravo Sista!!!

ooi.. my ex just blew my healing out of the water!! He hit on me last night .. What a dumby!! It's like he hasnt hurt me enough.. He has to try and be all weird and crap!

Sometimes its easier to take a long walk off a short pier. Sounds good right now but won't do it.

i am very confusedi was dating a girl that lived 2 hrs from me .i was going to move in by her and we were going to get married. then she starts talking about her new neighboralot but said i had nothing to worry about that she loved only me.. a week later she said she has leukemia and does not want anything to do with me.. i am very hurt and destroyed... don't know what to think

Damn William that blows. My guess is her new neighbors name is Luke Emmia. Yes poor joke. it just shows it happens on both sides. Just know there wasn't anything you do to have staopped it. I doubt Luke or whatevder his name is will be in her company long either. You deserve better.