control freak... in a Man or Woman
while dating or on first date ... can you tell that right off ... if you want to go into a serious relationship with someone ... what would be some red flags for you to tell ...

See how they treat the waiters/workers at the place you meet. If they are pushy or understanding.
Also a lot can be said about the conversation you have with them. If they aren't relaxed, then they are having trouble with the situation. Everybody is a little nervous on a first date, but if they don't lighten up after appetizers, they might have control issues.

Control freaks in my opinion are pretty good at persuasion they use that first, and them become more adept at using your own fears against you til you give them control of your thoughts and actions... just an opinion

If he took care of all the arrangements for your night out.

If he judged other peoples behaviour as right or wrong, the waiter for instance.

If he passed comment on something you chose from the menu, saying something was unhealthy for instance.

Depends on the "date" scenario, but basic psychology and body language. "Control freaks" MAY tend to ask a lot of probing questions and have a keen ability to redirect conversation through subtle misdirection.

sometimes it isn't something that gets noticed right away. some people are good at hiding it.

When he, she, won't unchain ya from the bed in the morning?

... and some people are too "in love", to be able to spot it,
before it's too late.

everyone is the master of their own domain....that being said control freaks can be confused with OCD, when they have to do things the same way every time, they do not like certain things and get fidgety when it is not done their way.
Some one in here commented that the guy took control.....well everyone wants that, the guy should have a pair and decide what the date should be and he should show that he can take care of the women by buying the meal or movie on the first date! Control is like ....passive or aggressive not usually both, passive...I don't care when in reality they do, aggressive...well I don't like that and you should do it this way!! A relationship takes giving and taking on both persons part not just 1 person doing all the work and the other along for the ride. If they can not communicate then they are not really a couple. Hope this helps...just my thoughts ..47 yr old

this is true as well. to be honest, when a date was recommended by a friend, it was easy to take the friend's word and not pay attention because the date was supposedly a good person

They're threatened by any show of autonomy, especially whimsical autonomy. They need a reason for why you do/choose things to feel comfortable about any sudden decisions you have every right to make for yourself.

And having to explain your reasons to make someone new feel more comfortable about your self-autonomy eventually becomes having to explain yourself upon demand, which in turn eventually becomes being ordered around like a toy boy.

To spot in a crowd, these are people which live and breathe subservient to a presumed authority in every area, as if apolegetic for their very existence. Socially they feel any crowd is a greater authority (eg. "no don't, people are watching"), or any proprietary is a greater authority (eg. "my house, my rules," is their rule of thumb for any establishment or premises, regardless if lawful rights say something completely different). Within an authoritive environment, such as a classroom or a workplace they willingly submit to bullying and dictatorship, with pandering to any figure of authority as the moral guideline beyond any true moral or lawful guidelines (eg. the boss is always right, workers are slaves).

Typically such people have been raised in authoritarian households by parents unqualified to express the degree of authority they presume towards their children, such as making their career decisions for them, selecting their hobbies and interests for them, and essentially living vicariously through their children as property, without any respect for their individuality or humanist rights as unique and separate beings. They learn a mismatch of word association, responsibility means do what you're told, goodness mean submission, love is about doing things you don't like.

They basically get wired wrong. They live far below their potential and it's only in a relationship the elastic snaps and they go the opposite extreme. Subservient to the world all too often means ruling your own household with an iron fist and irrational expressions of self loathing, justified with false accusations and presumptions of fantastic wrongdoing, and so the cycle starts over again with their own children.

So right at the beginning the way you spot them is when a person displays as an autonomous, responsible, self governing individual, this takes them way outside their comfort zone. They become stressed, start with confused or threatened glances, progress to glares, proceed to demanding explanations, express their desire to become a control freak over you to free themselves from their own feelings of subservience to others.

maybe if at dinner they have to keep reminding you to sit up straight. Chew with your mouth close. To make sure you use a breath mint after your meal, so they will enjoy kissing you at the end of the date. If they insist that you delete all the male names in your cell. If they take you to get spare keys to your place for them. If they pit a tracking device in your car. Have you number all of your underwear. Make you barcode tattoo their name on the back of your neck. And finally, knock you out in an elevator. But wait theres more. Impregnate you 7 times, lock you in a basement until one of the kids is old enough to crawl through a crack in one of the basements walls to get help.

Well, if she goes along with all my suggestions on a first date then I become suspicious. Plus I always look for a hatchet in her purse. Hatchet = Bad!

I have not been a little nervous on a first date,
maybe that a issue with me thinking this is not going to work out possibly just as friends after I have met them ...I have not been very excited about meeting them ... maybe that is my issue if i am not excited then maybe their is no attraction there anyway ... I don't know ... just thought i would give it a chance ...
I would say most of the men I had dated where a little pushes like I am the man and if their relax mode did not kick in then I thought they may be a little controlling ...when I was really young this thought never crossed my mind ... but after hearing and seeing and with my own experiences an what others do go through... I am just trying to find someone a little different in this stage in my life ... keeping in mind not all men are the same ...

beware of women or girls with large purses ...