Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: THE TRUTH ABOUT DESPERATION!!
Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Sat 09/13/14 05:31 PM
hummmmm, perhaps someone is misunderstanding, denial. And also,anyone who have read my profile would know from day one that one the things I hate the most is being misunderstood,it been there from day one ,so don't be so judgmental,sometimes when people post stuff its just for discussion and doesn't always mean that it's some big issue with them ECT!!

fleta_n_mach Joined Tue 06/24/14 Posts: 3509	Sat 09/13/14 05:34 PM Edited by fleta_n_mach on Sat 09/13/14 05:38 PM
hummmmm, perhaps someone is misunderstanding, denial. And also,anyone who have read my profile would know from day one that one the things I hate the most is being misunderstood,it been there from day one ,so don't be so judgmental,sometimes when people post stuff its just for discussion and doesn't always mean that it's some big issue with them ECT!! That can go both ways. You said others were misunderstanding you. and yes, I can relate. Sometimes more unaffectionate persons have stricter boundaries and feel that you are crossing them, maybe too often also. Yup, back off. They have boundaries.

Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Sat 09/13/14 05:43 PM
hummmmm, perhaps someone is misunderstanding, denial. And also,anyone who have read my profile would know from day one that one the things I hate the most is being misunderstood,it been there from day one ,so don't be so judgmental,sometimes when people post stuff its just for discussion and doesn't always mean that it's some big issue with them ECT!! That can go both ways. You said others were misunderstanding you. and yes, I can relate. Sometimes more unaffectionate persons have stricter boundaries and feel that you are crossing them, maybe too often also. Yup, back off. They have boundaries. Lol yeah true,but it's my fault if they did misunderstand me,I'll admit,they way post the topic painted a different picture from what I really meant,all saying is not everytime people desperate or needy,to that means kissing @$$,lol and I DON'T do that,I've even been accused of not liking woman sometimes and all,lol sad though!

no1phD Joined Tue 01/07/14 Posts: 27442	Sat 09/13/14 06:34 PM


mrld_ii Joined Thu 05/15/14 Posts: 1410	Sun 09/14/14 08:59 AM
Personally, I've found that part of being so head-over-heels and gaga about someone requires that they're feeling the same in return, so "extreme interest" has NEVER been mistaken for "desperation". It's ALWAYS been labeled "desperation" when he continues to tell me of his "extreme interest" when I've let it be known in ALL ways that his interest is unrequited.

mysticalview21 Joined Sat 06/28/14 Posts: 5462	Sun 09/14/14 09:30 AM Edited by mysticalview21 on Sun 09/14/14 09:30 AM
I agree with mrld_ii... Personally, I've found that part of being so head-over-heels and gaga about someone requires that they're feeling the same in return...

Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Sun 09/14/14 11:55 AM Edited by Awatersign on Sun 09/14/14 12:00 PM
Personally, I've found that part of being so head-over-heels and gaga about someone requires that they're feeling the same in return, so "extreme interest" has NEVER been mistaken for "desperation". It's ALWAYS been labeled "desperation" when he continues to tell me of his "extreme interest" when I've let it be known in ALL ways that his interest is unrequited. Yeah,true,[the last part of your post is true] but that was just a poor example I used I guess,,but all am trying to say is to much times I hear women mostly use that word when alot or half the times it's just not the case,keep in mind a lot of women/girls,and people in general play games and lead people on ECT,that I'VE had done to me a couple of times,am always straight forward ,don't play games like hard to get ECT,and I'll admit,sometimes i do come on a little strong early,not wrong ,strong,as in straight forward,and can see how some can mistake it for desperation ,and I've actually heard some women take little simple things simple as a compliment for desperation,so what am really talking about is taking alot of things for desperation when they're NOT,so the topic was meant in a general sense,lol I'll try and post more to point next time!

Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Sun 09/14/14 12:04 PM Edited by Awatersign on Sun 09/14/14 12:06 PM
[[[[Personally, I've found that part of being so head-over-heels and gaga about someone requires that they're feeling the same in return ]]]]]] Correct me if I'm wrong,but if someone has a crush on someone,and the person doesn't even know to say the least,wouldn't you say that that is contrary to that statement above??

mrld_ii Joined Thu 05/15/14 Posts: 1410	Sun 09/14/14 12:35 PM Edited by mrld_ii on Sun 09/14/14 12:36 PM
[[[[Personally, I've found that part of being so head-over-heels and gaga about someone requires that they're feeling the same in return ]]]]]] Correct me if I'm wrong,but if someone has a crush on someone,and the person doesn't even know to say the least,wouldn't you say that that is contrary to that statement above?? According to your latest example, if someone has a crush on someone else and that someone else doesn't even know about it, that someone else would probably not be labeling them anything, let alone "desperate". It appears you may be confusing people who label others as "desperate" with the alleged label-maker being simply "disinterested". This quote probably most aptly sums it up: Sounds like something for the courts to decide, in a stalking trial.

fleta_n_mach Joined Tue 06/24/14 Posts: 3509	Sun 09/14/14 12:54 PM
I agree. The denial is strong with this one.

funkyfranky Joined Tue 05/01/12 Posts: 5966	Sun 09/14/14 01:24 PM
Heyy everyone:),i ain't going to lie, I really hate it when people mistake aggressiveness,strong interest, strong desires ECT for desperation; ever felt so passionate or just that strong connection that you just don't feel every day or never felt for anyone else to say the least,and when you express it,it comes off as being desperate? The point I'm trying to make here is,if you feel I certain way about a certain some,that does NOT make you desperate,being desperate means you would pretty much settled for anything,there's a difference,this person you feel that way about maybe the type of person you rarely meet,and when I say being aggressive and passionate about them,I don't mean in some psycho stalking kind of way,it can be as simple as you caring so much about about a person you may not realize that you're texting or calling them just a little to often,offer to do things for them,pamper them alot,compliments ECT,these things alot of times comes of as desperate,we all have different personalities,me personally,I'm a passionate person on the whole,it's in every aspect of my life!! Is your real name Daniel Are you desperate Daniel Can we be friends Can I call you Dan Are you desperate Dan

Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Sun 09/14/14 01:38 PM
[[[[Personally, I've found that part of being so head-over-heels and gaga about someone requires that they're feeling the same in return ]]]]]] Correct me if I'm wrong,but if someone has a crush on someone,and the person doesn't even know to say the least,wouldn't you say that that is contrary to that statement above?? According to your latest example, if someone has a crush on someone else and that someone else doesn't even know about it, that someone else would probably not be labeling them anything, let alone "desperate". Ok I see what you're saying,makes sense,but I still disagree that in order for you to be head over heals ,the other person has to feel that same way,now if that's what you were saying in that statement,THAT,doesn't make sense to me,and like I said,everyone doesn't show disinterest,some people play games with you,you know,play with your feelings ECT ,so while they play games with YOU,they will tell someone else ,you seem desperate,I've actually seen women do this to guys,so I'm really not confused about any of it,lol I'm just simply tryn find out why some women use the word of contexts,that's all!!

Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Sun 09/14/14 01:44 PM
I think you might be better off using the word 'passionate'. It can be a dandy quality. Some folks just dont like that sort, and thats not a problem...we cant make everyone happy, now, can we? Move on if its not appreciated. Lol all what you're saying is good and make sense,but I didn't post this topic cause I was having problem with it,about a few times not often at all,rarely really,I've just noticed that alot of women use it out of context and I just hate hearing it when its not even the case,so the topic is just for discussion and not really about me ,but I like hearing you guys opinion on it anyway,at least I can learn a few things as well!

mrld_ii Joined Thu 05/15/14 Posts: 1410	Sun 09/14/14 01:56 PM
Ok I see what you're saying,makes sense,but I still disagree that in order for you to be head over heals ,the other person has to feel that same way... I'm sorry that you disagree, but it IS true; I know me pretty well...I've been with me for just about every single minute of my 54 years. I didn't say it was true for EVERYbody, nor did I say it should be true for EVERYbody...I said "Personally..." I DON'T fall head-over-heels for somebody unless they're feeling similarly; as a matter of fact, part of MY attraction to them IS their attraction to me. Being overly-attracted to someone who doesn't feel the same way in return I have found, in my life, to be the stuff 'crazy-making' is made of. I don't DO crazy-making.

Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Sun 09/14/14 02:04 PM
I gat to admit,you guys sound like you're really smart, ,I can't mess up at all with you guys ,but I'm just trying to get to the bottom of this "desperation"thing being used out of context so much,I frigging hate the word,cause I can't stand it,it's associated with weakness if you ask me!:

fleta_n_mach Joined Tue 06/24/14 Posts: 3509	Sun 09/14/14 02:12 PM
chucky.....the word you are looking for is dissent.

mrld_ii Joined Thu 05/15/14 Posts: 1410	Sun 09/14/14 02:15 PM
*Personally,*, I don't worry too much about how others use words, especially when taken/used out of context. Again, that falls under 'crazy-making'. I'm not a big fan of 'crazy-makers', either, so it's rare that I'd experience unrequited gaga-ness over one of 'em. But, that's just me.

Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Sun 09/14/14 02:22 PM
Ok I see what you're saying,makes sense,but I still disagree that in order for you to be head over heals ,the other person has to feel that same way... I'm sorry that you disagree, but it IS true; I know me pretty well...I've been with me for just about every single minute of my 54 years. I didn't say it was true for EVERYbody, nor did I say it should be true for EVERYbody...I said "Personally..." I DON'T fall head-over-heels for somebody unless they're feeling similarly; as a matter of fact, part of MY attraction to them IS their attraction to me. Being overly-attracted to someone who doesn't feel the same way in return I have found, in my life, to be the stuff 'crazy-making' is made of. I don't DO crazy-making. Lol ok I understand you clearly now,make sense!

Awatersign Joined Wed 01/22/14 Posts: 3185	Sun 09/14/14 02:24 PM
*Personally,*, I don't worry too much about how others use words, especially when taken/used out of context. Again, that falls under 'crazy-making'. I'm not a big fan of 'crazy-makers', either, so it's rare that I'd experience unrequited gaga-ness over one of 'em. But, that's just me. Lol,I feel ya!

Rastakitty76 Joined Tue 09/16/14 Posts: 2	Wed 09/17/14 02:29 AM
Oh no I completely understand where u r coming from....it's happened to me a handful of times...when the chemistry completely blows u away...the person could b incredibly bad for u, yet u r blinkered to that, n only see optimistic future..often the feelings subside after a few months...after I've made a total dick of myself and acted completely out of character..but occasionally the feelings remain for yrs...n it's not ur fault... I have come to understand that there is always a dominant partner in a relship, always one loving the other more, it's healthy when this shifts, evolves and goes back n fourth for both ppl....it's unhealthy when u feel used, abused and anxious.