It was yesterday, a dinner reception where I am placed at the table with people I have never seen before..after the initial introductions, I realized that,although the people n that table r total strangers to me, they knew each other pretty well.
Most of them were from the corporate sector..I guessed. after a few moments of light hearted banter about how Malaysian wedding reception almost always never started on time, the topic turned to one of their colleagues wedding reception that most of them had attended two years ago..apparently the happy couples was not so happy anymore and there had bn talk of divorce.
The lady next to me said n lowered tones..imagine they were working the same project in the same department.. fell in love.. within one year they were married we all attended.it was the wedding of the year..but just two years later..her pearl drop earings glittered as she shook her head and reached for the buttered shrimp.. haha

Guys its always bn my dream to walk on the aisle while my superman s waiting on the other side..but after all these things I heard not just yesterday, I often heard about failed marriage..its kinda scaring me..scared not just about the thing that my superman might cheat on me but also the other way round..
So when s the time to get married?how will I know if hes the one?what should I do to avoid temptations if ever..haha..ambitious frog..need ur opinions guys..thanks..


Patiently waiting for superman,
Mekay

Haha.thanks..if I am the toy I dont like being shared either..

A guy asked me that question the other day. He is in his 40's. I told him, "don't get married. You will loose it all." He said,"I got nothing." Then I said,"fine, go ahead! You may get 50% of something."

Still, it's a difficult situation to address, because you have to conciliate your feeling with what you want for yourself in life. The two may not be congruent.

hi M3k4y,

sweetie, there are no guarantees in life.
you are putting this question on a dating and socializing website where most of us happen to be single for one reason or another. it surprises me that you haven't gotten a flood of negative responses.
imo, the answer to your question is you follow your head and your heart.
take the time to know a person. bould the connection, friendship, trust and communication.
falling in love is a great starting point, but keeping the relationship going takes mutual effort.
if you believe in your self and value the love you have, you won't be tempted to cheat.
if you communicate and learn about each other, your superman won't be tempted either.
other people know this, but you're new. I dated someone who had his regular job but was also a musician who played at nightclubs. I knew the ladies were hot for him as I saw it myself on some of the occasions when I went to enjoy the music. you've seen my pic and can see im just your average person.
I would tell him, one of these days one of these hot young girls is going to steal you away.
the thing is, simple and ordinary like I am, in his eyes I was sexy and hot as hell. on the days I didn't go catch his show, he would tell me some lady gave me her number. I would ask him what did you do with it. he said, I gave it to my buddy who is single and the lead singer.
in the four years that we were together, never once did he wish for another woman.
one of my cousins ended up marrying her one night stand. she was emotionally in a bad place in her life and only wanted the obvious thing. one night turned into a second date. then hanging out. then moving in together, her helping him out with his little boy from another woman.
they have now been married twenty years and together for twenty three. she raised the little boy like her own child and they have a twelve year old boy they had together. yes they've had their ups and downs. there have been 3 times they seriously talked about divorce, but they always kept it together through both of them being willing to compromise and look for a solution. I asked her what kept them together. she said I asked myself have we killed our love. each time the answer was no they haven't.

there will always be people out there who want to bring you down. you seem like a smart and caring person ro know that the answer is within yourself.

I wish you the best of luck. Follow your head and your heart.

Awww..thats sweet ..thanks for the effort ana..and silly me..haha..I just noticed..yeah..most of the minglers are single..grrr..
People getting married n the first place maybe because they follow their head and heart but still ended up divorce.. sad..why do they end up cheating..?is it satisfaction ?passion? Or what..?I had a friend confronted a wife why did she cheat..she answered ''she wants her husband's attention back'' s she being reasonable? For me its a hilarious excuse..

The only things that apply to everyone in life are birth, eat, sleep, and death. what we make of it in between birth and death is up to us.
not everyone cheats. not everyone gets divorced.
if you live in fear of the negative, you also deprive yourself of the positive.

Hmmmmm...thanks ana..yeah..it helps me a lot.
Huhmmm..b strong mekay..and ohh..ur picture s nice now it wouldn't b hard for me to define u..kidding..hehe..ur thoughts and treatment to others s enough for me to define the real u my friend..thanks..

Thanks my monkey friend..the two may not b congruent..hmm..nice..maybe I should change my question..s there someone out there whos willing to b my superman and discuss this matter with me..?hehe..kidding guys..

Anytime, my friend.
and im just being me.

The decision on when to get married is not important.......what is important is really getting to know each other and learning how to be in love with each other....when this is practiced over and over all fear of failure will disappear and in time the marriage decision, will make itself.

If your love is as unconditional as we humans can achieve there should be no thought what so ever about cheating...if there is then your not serious about love.
I have seen the damage done to our family unit when one parent cheated, I made a vow never to inflict that pain on anyone, ever....cheating is a deal breaker for me.....no second chances.

I guess it all comes down to trust Mekay...trust your super man and he will trust you.

Hope this helps.

Thanks mikey..

I am not an expert, just a singleton like everyone else in this room.
In answer to the first part of your question it is simple. When you both feel the time is right.

In terms of is he the one, whooa you're dealing with a double sided sword here. It depends on your principles. Some people believe in sex after marriage but the issue there is people rush into marriage so as to get the ice cream. A lot of these marriages don't last. Reason being compatibility has not been fully established.

Then there are those who taste the ice cream and at the same time get to know each other over the years. This principle I agree with as it has no time restraints and you get to know the other person at your own pace. The good bit and the bad bits. In this period you will also learn how to compromise and negotiate with each other which will always lead to a meaningful result. This principle mind you is called "Try before you buy". I think it is important that you should introduce your partner to your family as soon as you both agree to be monogamous as it is important that they like him/her (her) for my benefit. Note if he makes you melt at the drop of a hat that's him, if he makes you wet (believe me I have the power; not) well that's him so you should go for it.

Temptation, hmmm if you are going to start to think about that then do not get married it will be a waste of time. Marriage is sacred, it is a promise and it should not be taken lightly. Till death do us part basically means it is a promise forever until one member of the party decides to go upstairs or downstairs which ever the case maybe. Once you have committed you should be strong enough to fight any temptation.

When you get married do not go into it thinking when you divorce you will get half of something. It's wrong don't do it. Karma is very powerful what goes around comes around.

Not going to say anymore because you will end up reading a book.

Good luck.

Regards,

THE AMBITIOUS FROG

Haha..thanks a lot...I appreciate it..thanks for the effort man..

croak, croak, ribbit, ribbit

Difference between truth and gossip. Truth always prevails and the lies get the karma

You are young the beauty of that you can have more than one failed marriage.......aren't you too young to think about marriage...you are only two years older than my daughter.......

Daughtry - Waiting for Superman

http://youtu.be/SXjXKT98esw

Im a full grown woman..and just want to b ready n everything...im on my way there..yeah..hope so...