The Queen of England was showing the Archbishop of Canterbury around the Royal Stables when one of the stallions close by farted so loudly it couldn't be ignored.
'Oh dear,'
said the Queen,
'How embarrassing. I'm frightfully sorry about that.'
'It's quite understandable,'
said the archbishop, and after a moment added,
'as a matter of fact I thought it was the horse.'




Little boy asks his spinster aunt: "Why have you never married?" She replied: "because I have aparrot, a dog and a cat. They are just like a man...the parrot swaers like a man, the dog continuously farts like a man and the cat strays at night...like a man."



A couple had an argument whilst driving and then passed a pigfarm. Husband asked sarcastically: Relatives of yours?“ wife responded. ”Yip, my in-laws!“



What is a SUGAR DADDY?

An old fossil, with a small tossil, who thinks it is colossal



After a long church service the one old lady said to the other: ”Goodness me what a long service, my bum is fast asleep“ when the friend replied:“ Yes I have noticed, because I hear them snoring a couple of times!“



One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of grey hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother repleid," Well, everytime that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said:
"Mommy, how come ALL of grandma's hair are white?"


Female friend to her bolnde girl friend:
"I went for a pregnancy test yesterday!"
Blonde friend:
"Oh, was it difficult?"


This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a mudslide. The bartender looks him over and says,
"You're not from around here are ya?"
"No,"
he responds.
"I'm from Pennsylvania."
The bartender asks,
"Well, what do you do in Pennsylvania?"
"I'm a taxidermist,"
replies the man.
Looking very bewildered, the bartender asks,
"What in the world does a tax-e-derm-ist do?"
"I mount dead animals,"
replies the man.
The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar (which is staring at them now),
"It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"


Why did the blonde like the car with a sunroof?
More leg-room!

My Fav...

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of grey hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
"Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother repleid," Well, everytime that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said:
"Mommy, how come ALL of grandma's hair are white?"