The Knowing

I thought I was where I wanted to be, only
to find I was in the wrong place. Each day
a dying,
a waste of life.

Hopes and dreams flickered out touching the
lives of others, but I would not be held within
another's life,
that I did not want in mine.

Life raced by a pace. Dogs barked at wolves on
my passing, I howled at the moon. I paused, did
not dwell,
hardly broke my stride.

Relentlessly I tracked my dreams across a lifetime,
without learning to live those lives.
never knew
how to love or be loved.

I knew there was no going back. Unable to outrun
the knowing in my head, this dawning in my mind
awoke me,
shattering my illusions.

But still the spirit in me burned. Beaten I had been but
not defeated. Looking at the life I'��d lived, I did the only
thing possible,
"�� I put a smile on it all. "��