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So I go back and forth. I have tried updating my profile a couple times now. I have both kids and I am married, but those things are complicated. For both I give no answer. Yes I have kids, but I am not interested in someone I meet online necessarily meeting them right away. Also I am still married, and even still share living quarters. However, we work two very different schedules.
Neither of these things you want to talk about necessarily when you are first meeting someone. Yet, I do not want to lie. Is it better to put that I am married and that I have kids, or no answer for both questions? I would think that if I said I was married and had kids that I would scare the crap out of them. Also, I put looking for activity partner down primarily because I think of dating as someone looking for a more long term steady thing. I am mostly looking for someone I can go out to coffee with, commiserate about life, or go on a hike. I am thinking like an hour or two a week or even every other week. Based on that am I looking for a date? an activity partner? a friend? It seems like there is a lot of overlap. Also what about intimate encounter? This will probably come off as pigheaded, but I believe in sex before marriage. I am a guy and many guys like to look at women. Is it taboo to say you are interested in sex or what you find physically attractive in a woman? When profiles say do not contact me if you are interested in an intimate encounter does that mean sex is completely off the table or off the table until you get to know the person? I am probably too blunt and just asked a ton of questions. If you can help me, let me know. I am interested in feedback both from women and men. |
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So I go back and forth. I have tried updating my profile a couple times now. I have both kids and I am married, but those things are complicated. For both I give no answer. Yes I have kids, but I am not interested in someone I meet online necessarily meeting them right away. Also I am still married, and even still share living quarters. However, we work two very different schedules. Neither of these things you want to talk about necessarily when you are first meeting someone. Yet, I do not want to lie. Is it better to put that I am married and that I have kids, or no answer for both questions? I would think that if I said I was married and had kids that I would scare the crap out of them. Also, I put looking for activity partner down primarily because I think of dating as someone looking for a more long term steady thing. I am mostly looking for someone I can go out to coffee with, commiserate about life, or go on a hike. I am thinking like an hour or two a week or even every other week. Based on that am I looking for a date? an activity partner? a friend? It seems like there is a lot of overlap. Also what about intimate encounter? This will probably come off as pigheaded, but I believe in sex before marriage. I am a guy and many guys like to look at women. Is it taboo to say you are interested in sex or what you find physically attractive in a woman? When profiles say do not contact me if you are interested in an intimate encounter does that mean sex is completely off the table or off the table until you get to know the person? I am probably too blunt and just asked a ton of questions. If you can help me, let me know. I am interested in feedback both from women and men. For the purposes of your profile, I think it's always good to say you have kids, even if you don't want someone you're dating to meet them for awhile. I have a policy where the women I date would not get to meet my sons unless we got to a point where we were ready to make a very serious, long-term commitment to each other. But, I still do make it clear that I have them, because ideally, I'd like to someday meet someone I *could* settle down with, and that girl has to be cool with kids. And even if you aren't looking for that, kids are a good thing to be open about. If you were on a date with someone and your kids needed you, you would go and your date needs to understand that. The marriage thing is dependent on whether you are actually separated from your wife and are moving forward, even though the law in your state says you are still connected to her. If you are in the process of getting a divorce, or are absolutely sure you aren't getting back into a relationship with your wife, it's probably ok to leave the relationship category unanswered, but if you start talking to someone you are interested in meeting, you would still need to be open about it and let each individual decide if they are ok with that. As far as what you are looking for, it seems like you want "dating", in terms of the options we have to choose from on here. An activity partner to me implies that you want a friend to hang with for various outings. An intimate encounter says you want sex and nothing more. Since you want a combination of these, but not a serious relationship, the "dating" label seems most accurate. Good luck! |
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Thanks Rebel. I am going to change the thing with my kids and change the verbage to dating. Even though I do not necessarily equate the word dating with the more informal encounter I am interested in I will use it and see if that helps.
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You're welcome! You can always give details about what you are looking for on your profile. Write a version of what you've said here and expand on the dating label. Anyway, that's my input. I'm no expert, can only speak on what I put out there, and what I look for when I look at other profiles. Hope it helps!
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