If they object to you prying before you meet then maybe that's how they hide the crazy so you can see it first hand and decide on face value whether it's undeniable, rectifiable, or certifiable.

In any case, I agree that getting emotionally involved too soon can have white coat consequences for you too.

.. be inquisitive.
.. point out similarities. that you share in each other's Bio/ profile
. be playful..
. not desperate.
. but a little flirtatious. men like flirting.. dangle the carrot in front of their nose. so to speak.. show them that you can be clever.. but not a budding physicist.
. make your first message.. short but not too short..
.. engage them with a little humor. and point out your willingness to ......correspond...
men need to be approached.. like you would a dog.. cautiously and with your hand out.. let them get a sniff..

Well, what do you expect a guy to do? It would be a bit weird if a guy on a dating site asked you if you have any issues or mental health problems, wouldn't it?

I'm not just talking about that anyway. One woman, for instance, had a medical condition that she didn't feel comfortable talking about online. There are all sorts of questions that women don't want to answer on here that they are quite happy to talk about in person. You ask them a simple question like, "Where did you go to school?" and they think that you're a stalker. It really is like that. Like I said, you are unlikely to learn anything particularly interesting about a woman on the internet and then you're resorting to small talk. Even asking them about their kids can make them think that you're a pervert.

It's a minefield. Practically anything can ruin your chances of getting a date and there's also the fact that if you're not fast you're last and while you're farting about chit chatting, somebody else comes along and just asks them out.

I tink I will have to introduce my self to sme1 I jux met on a social site for the 1st time.....I tink 4rm there, things will move well

HI
Well you answered it yourself,before talking
have a few cups of coffee.Always let the man do the running
if he is interested in you he will find a way to keep the conversation going.But also be aware because theres a lot of shall we say men who tell a pack of lies.But i'd say you would sus them out pretty quick.
Bill.x

I try to avoid writing 'things' such as "more better" lol


Well they usually say there is nothing in your profile write-up

then I say that's because its all in my pants.

So those key 7 words,it eliminates the right ones and gets to the point..lol

Have a nice day

Just be upfront with him about what you like about him/his profile. The worst that can happen is he ignores you from then on, but I guess that just means he's wanting something different from what you have to offer him. That's what I think if I send a guy a message, yet he ignores it. The ones who have. Just tell him. It doesn't have to sound crude. And then just leave the ball in his court. Don't expect him to reply. As that would be torturing yourself. Just read all of the OBVIOUS signs. If he doesn't want to continue chatting with you, then just think "Onto the next one", as he did you a favour by writing you off, if he has no plans to meet you in the near future. Just take it all as it comes.

i think the best thing is be yourself and dont start with lies....be as honest as you can and yes be interested in there likes and hobbies....thats a good start....

I really appreciate the depth and honesty of your advice, Emo_chick. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to reply.

Hi Bill, it's nice to meet you.

I've read your response several times and then came back to it after soaking it in.

I'm trying to picture what being over enthusiastic looks like through a man's eyes, because I'm slow as molasses and don't think I have the ability to get over excited about much of anything unless I've had one too many cups of coffee.

And how do I show interest in what a man does in his spare time if I'm still trying to figure out how to get to know him on a dating site first?

Thank you for reading and responding as I do take what I hear and try to apply it effectively.

You are serious and mature. You seriously want someone in your life. Q: Why do you like the person, whose profile you saw? A: Most likely they had values, way of being, and/or sexual appeal pleasing to you. Be honest about how you feel about them and that you want the man (or woman).

There is a plethora of "rules" and "dos and donts" which elevate game playing to an art form. Here are some examples, "don't quote something that the person wrote in their profile...don't ask the person to be your man/woman because you'll look needy... don't call too often because that way you'll keep them guessing and fascinated...don't share too much too soon..." To have a relationship of any kind (even a fling) requires creating intimacy, i.e. sharing emotion. Do that.

If you want a serious relationship with a man, just tell him that you feel that way about him. If you want a man for sex only, tell him. Beating around the bush with your goals and values wastes your time and his (or hers).

Establish good rapport on the telephone. If you like him, don't wait around, ask him out...woo the man. If you do not like the man on the phone do not waste your time and his, by going on a date, i.e. interview, to "check him out" to see if you're interested. Some women go on dates with men whom they do not like and are not interested in. A sane man asks a woman out because he already likes her and wants her. If a man asks a woman out, it's not maybe, we'll see, or a Starbucks whatever. If a man, asks a woman out, it's on.

Across cultures, people approach each other and propose some kind of relationship. In the Spanish speaking world today, a man or a woman might approach the other, "me gustas y te quiero conocer(I like you and want to know you," and promptly if he/she likes the other after meeting, proposes, "quieres ser mi novio/a (do you want to be my boyfriend/girlfriend)." Americans generally don't propose like that...they generally stumble into their relationship. In the US we could take a cue from other cultures, by clarifying matters with a proposal and dialogue; it's either yes or no, and you know where you stand immediately. No drawn out false starts.

Best regards.

I find it hard to write a long first message.
I'm ok once I get a reply, then you can't stop me, but the initial approach is hard.
I'm like that in normal life too. When I say normal life, I mean as oppose to internet life if you like.