I have been building up a meaningful friendship with someone I used to work with since October last year, we enjoy each other's company and attend church regularly. I really like spending time with my friend but I'm 43 and she's 28, she is also in a long distance relationship with a guy from Manchester and I live about 15 minutes away from her in Sheffield.

I am quite happy to stay friends and to have a non sexual relationship, so can a deep meaningful friendship be classed as a relationship or is it not a relationship if there is no sex? Should I still work hard to develop this friendship or should I look elsewhere now I know she is involved with someone else.

Advice and prayer please

Thanks
Richard

It sounds like you are interested in having the title of boyfriend along with the (non-sexual) intimacy you have with her.

I guess you have two options:

1. Continue as is and be her pal/buddy/friend.

2. Let her know how you feel and let the cards fall where they may.

[There is a third option.... stop spending as much time with her and see how see reacts and how you feel with spending some time without her.]

Such is the common process of marriage. A youth and maiden exchange meeting by chance, or brought together by artifice, exchange glances, reciprocate civilities, go home, and dream of one another. Having little to divert attention, or diversify thought, they find themselves uneasy when they are apart, and therefore conclude that they shall be happy together. They marry, and discover what nothing but voluntary blindness had before concealed; they wear out life in altercations, and charge nature with cruelty.

This is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.

Marriage and Relationship Needs Differ For Men and Women.
He Needs a Playmate. She Needs a Loyal Friend.

When the man's and woman's needs are not met in marriages or relationships, they may part. Men usually enter a relationship or marriage expecting their mate/lover to be a playmate and share their recreational interests. Women enter a relationship or marriage hoping to find a loyal best friend. Men want a recreational companion. Women want a loyal companion.

Men need recreation in order to relax. Women need loyalty in order to feel secure. Marriage and relationships: men and women have different needs from marriages and relationships. Men need a playmate; women need a loyal companion. Both need their own interests but they also need interests that overlap. They need playtime together. Both need their own space and privacy but they also need to come together and support each other.

He needs a lot of recreational time together. She needs the support and loyalty that makes her feel secure. When a woman usually goes her way while a man usually goes his way, the "ways" often part. When he does not support her, she may look for security elsewhere. When she doesn't act as a recreational companion, he may look for a playmate elsewhere. A marriage relationship must meet the needs of both the man and the woman.