Buy one, get one free, but it may not be alive anymore.

same lol


to the bus tour in center city Phila.

"YES, it's a clothespin..."

Yes it's true the hotel is haunted, but just leave a light on and you'll be fine.

No sir do not worry about the sharks they know not to swim in this close when the tourists are here.

Although all luggage was lost enroute, we are happy to inform you that it has reached its final destination in tact and before schedule.

I actually was told that once...lol

can you just .. Carrie this bag through customs for me..... no honest there's nothing in it...lol

lol, and then deliver it to Stumpy at 1am by the rear door of the Girls R Us Klub....

Because of the inconvenience of the near crash landing, all flights will be free of charge.

Yes sir I know you watch shark week on the discovery channel and are a expert but its really not wise to swim by the pier where people are fishing for shark with bloody bait because they might actually be there.(I swear this happens every year)

Actually a genuine warning for tourists up northern queensland, when sharks are in the water swim at your own peril with a 50/50 chance of being eaten. When a crocodile is in the water there is 100% chance you'll be eaten.

The last tourist to get eaten by a croc was leaning over the railing on a riverboat right next to a sign that said, "danger, crocodiles, do not lean over railing." His wife was trying to take a photo of him with a croc in the background, so he leaned over the rail and it leapt several metres out of the water and took him off with it. Killed/eaten obviously, rangers shot the croc later.

It's like a dinosaur. How is it tourists think they're going to be okay playing with it?

Don't worry sir the rebels never capture the airport, can I get you another drink?