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Community > Poems & Creative Writing

Topic: The Knowing
rapsscallion Joined Thu 11/22/12 Posts: 355	Tue 02/04/14 09:09 AM Edited by rapsscallion on Tue 02/04/14 09:11 AM
The knowing Dogs barked at wolves at My passing. I howled at the moon, Hopes and dreams flickered Out, touching The lives of others. Never learned to live with those lives, Didn'��t know How to love or be loved. I'��ve not had the life I would have Wished for. I have lived the life I'��ve had. Because of it, despite it, be dammed By it I am who I am. looking Back, I did the only things possible, Forgave myself, And put a smile on it all!

plastic_pancakes Joined Sun 10/18/09 Posts: 7399	Tue 02/04/14 10:33 AM
I was following you until the hyperbolic nature of the last line, but this is actually a great poem. And I don't usually comment on anything.

rapsscallion Joined Thu 11/22/12 Posts: 355	Tue 02/04/14 11:02 AM
Well I could feel sorry for myself or have lots of regrets, not that I could change anything except ,"Put a smile on it all," and get on with my life. Sometimes though it's quite hard to take my own advice. I am glad you liked it though and thanks for the compliment

plastic_pancakes Joined Sun 10/18/09 Posts: 7399	Tue 02/04/14 11:27 AM
No thanks is necessary. You wrote something good. Just because I don't like the last line doesn't mean that it doesn't fit; it may mean that I didn't understand the full tone of the piece. Hope you keep posting.

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Tue 02/04/14 12:13 PM
I love this quiet little piece ...When the truth comes through loud and clear, as it does in this one, there is no need to explain...Sooooo, I agree with PP...Ditch the last line.. Oh yeah, the title is awesome!...

rapsscallion Joined Thu 11/22/12 Posts: 355	Tue 02/04/14 12:36 PM
Do you know I only added that last line because the poem seemed so sad, and I am such a positive character. Still perhaps you're right and I also feel you are right, so using my ability to change my mind, I will take out the last line. Bill

Leigh2154 Joined Sun 10/02/11 Posts: 16479	Tue 02/04/14 12:44 PM Edited by Leigh2154 on Tue 02/04/14 12:44 PM
Do you know I only added that last line because the poem seemed so sad, and I am such a positive character. Still perhaps you're right and I also feel you are right, so using my ability to change my mind, I will take out the last line. Bill (((( Bill ))))...A very good decision...See.... The knowing Dogs barked at wolves at My passing. I howled at the moon. Hopes and dreams flickered Out, touching The lives of others. Never learned to live with those lives, Didn'��t know How to love or be loved. I'��ve not had the life I would have Wished for. I have lived the life I'��ve had. Because of it, despite it, be dammed By it I am who I am. Looking back, I did the only thing possible, I forgave myself.

rapsscallion Joined Thu 11/22/12 Posts: 355	Tue 02/04/14 01:23 PM
It would appear that it will have to stay the edit function is long gone

Community > Poems & Creative Writing