Sounds like one of those things you hear about on Jeremy Kyle. Oh the drama Facebook can bring. This is why I never bother with Facebook. I always feel "unnecessary" people will find me again.

an ex of mine is still close to me as a friend , it's cool to have such friend who understands you more than anyone else , we keep in touch to provide an advise or a shoulder to cry on when needed , we could have been a very good friends despite the fact that we don't live in the same country any more .....

The only ex apart from lassies I grew up with and dated that I keep in contact with, is my sons mum. Having an ex floating around, when you're dating, is taking the chance of bringing any underlieing jealouses into the equation and who needs that? The way I see it is, they are an ex for a reason and that's the way it stays, in the past!

yet , after a long period of time .. love or jealousy feelings will vanish , and a good friendship could be built

That's your outlook Fox, not mine! I have enough mates as it is Fox and i've had exes before interfering in new relationships of mine and I don't take the chance anymore. A clean break means just that to me!

Actually, I have Facebook to thank for now being friends with my ex again. Facebook isn't really my thing but I was bored one night and went on there to find that she had sent me a friend request on there. Don't know when she had done that and I hadn't been checking my emails for quite a while. So, I accepted the friend request and messaged her to say hi. She replied but then didn't reply again and apparently she doesn't check her private messages very often because her daughter said something on her timeline about that. I had to post on her timeline then and when I did that she asked me if I was getting out much these days. I had just started dating again and because some girl had messed me about and I was feeling fed up about that I whined about it on my ex's Facebook page on my birthday when I was drunk. I wasn't trying to have a go at her and just wanted a friend to talk to about it but her friends jumped in and tried to tell me off for taking it out on her. I tried to say to them that I had already apologised but they just kept trolling me and I just left it after that.

Then a month or so later my ex's brother sent me a friend request on there because I was on her friends list and he had mistaken me for somebody else. I explained to him that I was a guy that used to go out with his sister but that we had never met because she had chosen not to introduce me to any of her family apart from her daughter. Apparently he was about as impressed with me about that as those friends of hers had been about what I posted on her timeline.

I ended up just writing her a letter and putting it through her door and I apologised about the Facebook thing. She said that it was alright and she wasn't bothered but told me not to do it again because her friends and brother were pished off with me about it.

My thoughts on Ex's is ...

"That what we allow we endorse. What we endorse we Teach."
While sometimes it seems somehow more acceptable to swallow your pride or anger and get along; especially when children are involved, we often send very confusing messages about what we should/will allow or won't.

Some things don't get ok just because the shock and pain subside enough you can catch your breath and stand again on broken bones.

Why do we allow this? Is it the need to be the "superior person", forgiving when the ultimate karma rolls around and the Ex is duly humiliated or hurt? Self elevation from being a victim to victor?

Is it somehow unfeminine to stand up and have the balls to say "Screw me once; shame on you. Screw me twice; shame on me; get lost, I don't forgive you for being what you are.

Are we so caught up in being the heroic keeper of the forever vow as our last scrap of dignity that we will make ourselves a doormat?

seems like there are two peoples feelings involved there...
some people can't just turn off the love...

Well, I wouldn't know about that but I just wanted to get my best friend back and yeah, carrying that anger and other feelings around with me wasn't good for me. She isn't treating me like a doormat now, whatever she did in the past and now I can honestly say that I'm happy that she's happy, even though she isn't my girl anymore.

Good to hear your story, I know my ex will be a good friend to me but now I don't want any disturbance from him..I told him I still need time to forget him and he respect that. Now, I'm doing great I find some ways to have fun and appreciate the people and things I have that I didn't see when my world was him.

sorry to hear that, we should learn to love ourselves first before others..