I can't reach my licence unless you hold my beer.

Hey, Ist that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this 44 magnum.

Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me.

I was gonna be a cop, but I decided to finish High School instead.

What do you mean. 'Have I been drinking?' You're the trained specialist.

Wow, you look just like the guy on my girlfriends nightstand.

I thought you had to be in relatively good shape to be a cop.

I was trying to keep up with the traffic. Yes. I know there is no other car around, that's how far they are ahead of me.

Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at Mc Donalds?

Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

You ARE a cop!? I thought you were one of the Village People.

Oink Oink

Bad cop! No doughnut

I'm not as thunk as you drink I am.

I have much respect for the cops out there, that are here to help to protect , and serve us. I know there are some bad ones too, but the majority are fine men and women.
My brother who is a officer in the army, has also been a cop.
One of the finest people in the world.

As for your joke Tom......

Excuse me but I resemble those remarks!

i like that the cops here in the central valley cali resemble those remarks

hey your eyes look glazed,, have you been eating doughnuts?

it wasn't me!!!!

If someone said one of those to me, (except for the oink oink one) I would probably laugh and send them on their way.

A good joke or one-liner usually gets you out of a ticket with me. LOL!

hey blues,, some of my best friends are cops,, and they are the ones who told me alot of the ones you saw here. tom jsut kinda beat me to them,,lol