KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – The United States Military and Afghanistan will be getting a divorce after eleven years of war so the U.S. can pursue a hotter, sexier war, senior government officials have told Duffel Blog. The pending divorce is mutual.

The U.S. Military has already released a statement saying, “While we appreciate all the love and support Afghanistan has given us, particularly in justifying our defense budget, after over a decade together conflicts sometimes just get boring and stale. We’re not a one-war kind of service.”

The U.S. Military has also cited irreconcilable problems with Afghanistan’s in-law Pakistan.

Afghanistan has listed its own complaints: that the U.S. Military has a wandering eye for “any younger war that doesn’t need as much work done. We don’t know how the Israelis and Palestinians have managed to keep theirs going for sixty-five years.”

Afghanistan has also complained that the U.S. Military is frequently inattentive to their needs, forgetting their anniversary and giving it inappropriate gifts.

“Last year for our anniversary the Air Force gave us a high-altitude all-weather air superiority fighter,” a tearful Afghanistan told reporters. “Our war doesn’t even have air combat!”

According to Afghanistan, these problems were evident right from the outset of their relationship.

Read more: http://www.duffelblog.com/2013/01/u-s-military-divorcing-afghanistan-for-hotter-sexier-war/#ixzz2obwjtWJO