to this question, but I'm gonna bounce it off of you guys to solidify my decision.

Because of a HORRIBLE divorce and many other reasons, my teenage daughter went to live with my adult son. I was having to break up my household (literally) and relocate myself. The "X" went to jail (and hopefully to prison) so he had/has no say-so in the matter.

Because my son wasn't prepared to house another person as he is single, I sent several household items such as a bedroom suite, television w/stand, VCR, DVD...just whatever...to assist in his keeping her. Now mind you, these items were/are NOT hers, I simply sent them to accomodate her stay with her brother.

Now, as time has passed, I am selling a few other items from "my former life," and thought it would be considerate of me to allow my son to have an opportunity to buy anything he wanted first.

As it turns out, he's wanting to "work out a deal" with me. He said he'd take "his" bed (mind you, this is furniture I allowed him and my daughter to use) as a partial trade on some of the things he was interested in buying.

OK.....now that would be ME buying my own stuff back. Hello!!!
I have told him in the past that the things that he has which came from our household were no my daughters to do with as she wished (she had sold some DVD's). He said he wasn't aware of that until I told him.

My question is this: My relationship with my son is excellent right now. This yours/mine thing is a very sensitive issue and I don't want to be a stick in the mud by being materialistic, and I don't want to hurt his feelings. By the same token, I don't wish to repurchase my own possesions!

Should I re-explain the situation to him, and if so, how?

Sorry this is so long, but , well, no excuses.............sorry this is so long.................

Let him have the stuff......your kids are more important than any money!!

whisper,, this is why i never deal with family,, ive been burned by my brother so many times i wont even give him 5 bucks for smokes and a drink. it leads to bad blood and the such. sorry you are dealing with bad **** right now,, but it will get better

You know the answer....no money changes hands...no bills of sale...nothing....

These are your kids, and as such...your eldest adult son helped you and his sister out, when you were going through a rough patch.

Geez...too easy...kids over stuff...no contest.

I know I'm going to look like a materialistic witch, but the point is, I'm unbelievably financially strapped right now, which is the reason I'm selling my household items. Yes, ideally, in a perfect world, I would say kids over stuff. However.....I am so strapped, as many of you know, I'm living with MY parents! Not an ideal living situation, either. If I didn't desperately need the money, it wouldn't even cross my mind to get the stuff. Honestly. I just feel I'm between a rock and a hard spot.

Certainly, I see you guys' point and may very well just leave it be. In the long run, it's just stuff.

yOUR relationship is more important....and like jess said, your son helped you out when you were in a time of need.

Pffffft tell that new husband to be to pay your bills!!!!

Is it financial challenge, Whispers? Bills from the past? maybe a financial advisor, and an amalgamated loan, if need be..

Are you working?

I do understand how tough it is post divorce/separation...especially when they are messy.

My kids and I did it rough for a while...some I know have done it rougher though...

I cant think of a solution, because it sucks..either way, for you...

Jess: Yes, it is a very grim financial situation I am in right now. Actually, everything was to be sold (court ordered) at a public auction. Most everything was, except a very few items such as the bed I'm sleeping in @ my parents and personal items. And I not working, and have been forced to file bankruptcy. Not fun...........

can't you get a job for now?

Until the bankruptcy thing is complete, any wages I earn can be garnished by my creditors.............

become a babysitter........cash under the table......or a maid....

im sorry whisper,,, i kinda know what your going through,, i lost everything to my ex's. wife and fiance,, and thats why im so skittish about getting into another one. but ill talk to some people and see if there is anything that can be done

I lost my house, all of my furniture and everything else....I came back!!!

"medical field"...is there any private work that you can do in your field, and does it usually pay well?

I guess my point is...they are only possesions, and as long it wont impact on the kids too much...and you need money for food and shelter for you and your kids..sell them..explain to your son.

And then maybe get back into work, even if your wages are garnished....you will still end up with cash each paycheck.

Same Gypsy....four kids and no home, or furniture, and not a bed between us, at first..

or go find a catering job,,, they pay under the table and they dont pay bad at all,, i went to a couple and make like 300 bucks in a couple hours

Thank you, Thumper, Gypsy, and Jess. I truly appreciate your input.

****Takes a deep breath....sigh...*****

become an "escort" jk

Hey I lost everything that was mine.....mine not his.......I came back home and lived on my dads couch, my friends couch, for awhile going back to school I had 2 plates, 2 forks etc....counting toilet paper sheets!!! ohhhhhhhhh it sucked.....but now Im a millionaire!!!!

At first glance I would say your son is a real Arkansas horsetrader but not to be light of your situation it was actually your stuff. Somewhat close to your situation my mom lets me know when it the rent is due. She is my landlord. I live in a property owned by her on four acres. Mom lives three miles up the road. Last geographical cure I made that didn't work out I had two months of back rent to catch up on. My mom loves me but she can be all business. I went to see her, yesterday and as she made me a cup of coffee. She so slightly slipped my electric bill envelope with the words rent is due on the outside. When in conversation with her I talk about my house and she asks me, "Whose House?"

jk about the millionaire part but you know what??? after having nothing for so long....I dont even want to spend anything on "material" things because Im afraid they will be gone.......so I still live with 2 plates.....etc......because they are material things and what you learn to live without you can