Subject: FOOTBALL-COACHES SAYINGS-FUNNY



"At Georgia Southern, we don't cheat. That costs money and we don't
have any."
Erk Russell / Georgia Southern.


"Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal. Nevertheless, Beat
Texas."
Seen on a church sign in Arkansas prior to the 1969 game.



"After you retire, there's only one big event left....and I ain't ready for
that."
Bobby Bowden / Florida State



"The man who complains about the way the ball bounces is likely to be the
one who dropped it."
Lou Holtz / Arkansas



"When you win, nothing hurts."
Joe Namath / Alabama



"Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated."
Lou Holtz / Arkansas



"If you want to walk the heavenly streets of gold, you gotta know the
password,
"Roll, tide, roll!"
Bear Bryant / Alabama



"A school without football is in danger of deteriorating into a medieval
study hall."
Frank Leahy / Notre Dame

"There's nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out
of you."
Woody Hayes / Ohio State

"I don't expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just
want
to win enough to warrant an investigation."
Bob Devaney / Nebraska


"In Alabama, an atheist is someone who doesn't believe in Bear Bryant."
Wally Butts / Georgia



"You can learn more character on the two-yard line than anywhere else in
life."
Paul Dietzel / LSU

"It's kind of hard to rally around a math class."
Bear Bryant / Alabama


When asked if Fayetteville was the end of the world.
"No, but you can see it from here."
Lou Holtz / Arkansas...

"I make my practices real hard because if a player is a quitter, I want him

to quit in practice, not in a game."
Bear Bryant / Alabama

"There's one sure way to stop us from scoring-give us the ball near the
goal line."
Matty Bell / SMU

"Lads,you're not to miss practice unless your parents died or you died."
Frank Leahy / Notre Dame



"I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms -
Truman's and Eisenhower's."
Alex Karras / Iowa



"My advice to defensive players:Take the shortest route to the ball
and arrive in a bad humor."
Bowden Wyatt / Tennessee

"I could have been a Rhodes Scholar, except for my grades."
Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State



"Always remember..... Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David."
Shug Jordan / Auburn

"They cut us up like boarding house pie. And that's real small pieces."
Darrell Royal / Texas



"Show me a good and gracious loser, and I'll show you a failure."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"They whipped us like a tied up goat."
Spike Dykes / Texas Tech



"I asked Darrell Royal, the coach of the Texas Longhorns, why he didn't
recruit me
and he said: "Well,Walt, we took a look at you and you weren't any good."
Walt Garrison / Oklahoma State



"Son, you've got a good engine, but your hands aren't on the steering
wheel."
Bobby Bowden / Florida State



"Football is not a contact sport-it is a collision sport. Dancing is a
contact sport."
Duffy Daugherty / Michigan State

After USC lost 51-0 to Notre Dame, his postgame message to his team:
"All those who need showers, take them."
John McKay / USC



"If lessons are learned in defeat, our team is getting a great education."
Murray Warmath / Minnesota



"The only qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb.
To be a back, you only have to be dumb."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame



"Oh,we played about like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon."
Spike Dykes / Texas Tech



"It isn't necessary to see a good tackle. You can hear it."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame

"We live one day at a time and scratch where it itches."
Darrell Royal / Texas



"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking."
John McKay / USC



"Three things can happen when you throw the ball, and two of them are bad."

Darrell Royal / University of Texas



"I've found that prayers work best when you have big players."
Knute Rockne / Notre Dame



"Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this
football"
John Heisman

very good smiles, thank you

Thank you I finally have something great to pass on to my e mail buddies

"I gave him an unlimited budget; and he exceeded it."

Redskins Owner Edward Bennett Williams
of Coach George Allen