The 'Rules of the South' are as follows!!!



1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

14. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it
Spooks the fish.

16. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities , Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

18. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!

I should move to the south...sounds like my kinda place

LOL..Ya have to laugh but it's all true!! What a great place to live. Virginia has some of the nicest people I have ever met. I am not talking as much about Northern Virginia. Once you get South of that mess it smooths out considerably!!

lol. i love it. and its true.

im glad to see the thruth for what it is

Well, that's just the way I was brought up here in Tennessee!!

sweet as pride of our roots is great

born and bred southern,, raised on a farm in a lil ass town in north carolina,, but watch that thump thump comment...lol

4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.


that's Indiana for you

actually i think that is tennessee kators

I wanna go, I wanna go, PLEASE?????????
I can even tell the difference between the smell of a cow and a pig, without even seeing them. They smell good to me.

PMS

OH NO YA DONT!!! The RUDEST and STRANGEST folk live here in HILLBILLY HELL. The VOLUNTEER STATE is what mines called. REALLY? I havent found ONE PERSON willing to get off that ARSE and even be FRIENDLY! ITS HELL HERE!!!

barbie,, come to nc,, its nice here,, but nothing to do. and i can understand the tenn thing. i hate chattanooga with a vengence. but thats just me and my insane ass

Awesome...and true

I can relate ...I'm a Mississippi girl.

dirty dirty south,,, oh what a place to lay your head. and when the yankees take over,, what do we do??? go to the country side cause they scared to get dirty,,,lmao

we forgot the food part. if its chicken, its fried, bbq'ed or in soup. none of that healthy **** for us. and grits. salt pepper and butter. you dont add milk and sugar,, thats for oatmeal.