My heart has now grown cold. For the reasons of being so rejected by every woman because I am too nice? You all sleep with my drug addicted friends, they cheat on you and tell me how you are all just so bad. I am the guy who the girls talk to about all their ****ed up relationships. About the problems they have when they meet my friends and sleep with them instead of having a man in their life who would love them and probably worship just even thinking about them glancing over and paying attention. Many years god **** all over my life, he thinks its funny to give all the women to the scum and let a man with a heart suffer. **** you god! I mean it is all ******** fantasy anyway. Now the tears I have shed have turned into black pieces of ice. My heart is cold and I am no saint to any other man, after all they go out and **** the bishops wife every sunday and tell me about their secrets. I don't care or do I want to even think about dating again, only to be led on to find myself alone. I am alone anyway so this means I am content. At peace for finally letting any emotional vision of love die. It gets cold and all I feel is the cool air around me. So go ahead and say you want to date to betray me and sleep with my friends. I know your secrets. Thats all any of us can ever say. We collect the conversations you call us crying over the phone and now we laugh at you. There are many other men out there like me, who envy their man-child friends who degrade the women they seek. Just for the thrill of talking about how her *** felt the night before. Then the next day all we hear is you talking about our friends mistreating you and you still go out on another date with them. I like my buddy who goes through your phone when you go to the bathroom and writes down your girlfriends numbers and then ****s them as well. Ah beautiful california dreaming. So my advice is to become a castrated holy man and join a monastery.