"What Feeling is This?"

I do not know what I feel today, but I will know it when I feel it
Is this the feeling of peace, or exhaustion? This blankness of my mind
I am lethargic and my mind cannot decide if I feel as if I am
Sinking or floating, but my heart has an idling feeling, as if at a stop light
Or Train crossing, and I close my eyes and listen to my heavy train
Ca clack upon the tracks, it's rumble settling the stomach that has been
Stirring and twisting these past years
I close my eyes and allow myself, my breathing, my beating to join
The humble rhythm of my favorite beast, running
As I wish I could run, even if restricted to a track
My track would take me somewhere, taking me from here
I feel a certain peace today, something I cannot explain
So I will welcome this exhaustion that, for today, wears the mask of Calm
I am calm, I will not fret or worry today, only grab hold of the last car
Of my beautiful train, and it will pull me through this
It's humble rhythm, ca clack, ca clack holds hands with my heart's beat
The wind in my face, I close my eyes, and smile
Not so many more miles
Not so many more miles

Christopher John Mazey