Unpacking our cases there lay heavy tension in the air,
It had taken us so much time effort and drama to arrive there,
I sat on the bed a coffee in my hand ,
Smoking my cigarette gazing out at the land,
She came sweeping through from the shower wrapped scantilly in a towel,
looking my way intensely like she was on the prowl,
She passed me a brush, i brought it gently down her long dark hair,
In sheer bliss for at that moment we were both together there,
She turned to face me and locked her eyes deeply with mine,
For the next few moments it felt like a pause in time,
Her green eyes always made my heart melt,
She always stirred feelings in me till then still unfelt,
Her potent heady perfume struck a deep unstirred arousel,
I hid my face in her neck, her hair surrounded,
I wanted to stay there in that sweet loving embrace,
Where i could hide in contentment from the fears that i faced,
But all too soon she stood up to get ready for dinner,
Soon that evening our love would become thinner,
We ordered our meal and poured the wine,
For a little while longer she would remain mine,
she stared deeply in to my eyes across the table,
A conversation we held where words were enabled,
I knew the questions would come all too soon,
My heart quivered at the forth coming doom,
I couldnt lie to her, but how could i tell her the truth,
Your husband found out and raped me, but babe i have no proof,
Before we had chance to eat she said babe we need to talk,
She drank back her wine and said lets go for a walk,
Under the moon we walked for a while in silence,
Then she stopped and turned to me the air heavy and intense,
Please tell me the truth now, and dont lie she asked,
I wont leave you no matter what, her emotions expertly masked,
He raped you, didnt he, she said babe i know,
Just tell me the truth or i promise you ill go,
Tears falling rapidly and fear hitting my heart,
Yes i replied, the memory beginning to smart,
Everything fell deafeningly quiet it felt for an age,
Then from nowhere it came fast her pain and her rage,
How could you do this to me, how could you keep it hidden,
The blame she pushed on me, his sin she was dismissing,
She screamed she cried, she turned her head away in pain,
Id done nothing wrong but she made me feel so ashamed,
I tried to comfort her, i tried to make her see,
I hadnt betrayed her, hed betrayed me,
But in her heartache and in her pain,
She ran away and left me sobbing alone in the rain,
I looked eveywhere for her, i scoured the castles ground,
But it was useless searching, she couldnt be found,
I went back to our hotel room, alone and out of my mind,
I gathered all of the alcohol and pills i could find,
I couldnt clear my mind or all of the confusion,
In my head it made sense this was the only sensible conclusion,
I filled a pint glass full of vodka and tipped all the tablets out on the bed,
Popping pill after pill swigging vodka back no doubt in my head,
Pain ripping through my heart,thoughts too painfull to process,
I carried on popping pills swigging back vodka with a demented madness,
Let me die, i screamed, i want this to stop,
My pills taken, and alcohol all gone, not another drop,

In temper that i was still there i smashed the glass against the wall,
I started ripping the shards through my wrists thinking f>>k it all,
Blood spurted everywhere up the walls and the door,
A few minutes later i passed out cold on the floor,
In the early hours my moms spirit came to me,
You have to go back its not your time, i cant take you baby,
The morning light came i heard shuffling in the room,
I came round to stern looks and an air filled with gloom,
She stood over me so angry, and screamed i wish youd died,
Then she grabbed me in her arms and for hours we cried,
I fought against her parting our embrace,
She held my wrists to me making me look in disgrace,
Why she cried to me over and over again,
How selfish you were i could have returned and found you dead,
She cleaned my sore savaged wrists and bandaged them quietly,
When shed finished she dropped with sadness and exhaustion to her knees,
She pulled me beside her, her crying sorry, me crying please,
We stayed there for the longest time clutched tightly to one another,
In a final embrace that was almost a smother,
In the morning light we both sadly knew it was the end,
Sobbing uncontrollably as she walked away, a lost lover and bestfriend.

Hi Pandora, wow, your writing is very powerful, I was intrigued by the story , was it fact? or fiction, but by the end of the story I felt I no longer wanted to know the answer I just wanted you to be happy xx

well thankyou for that message, yes its fact, but what doesnt kill us pardon the pun makes us stronger, i wish you happiness in your life too xx

Way to find and outlet. For those of us whom have been there, we know how important that is. In my thoughts and in my prayers.

Ahh thankyou for your kind message,

i have been there before feeling like there is no hope but the goddess blesses us all and i hope with the goddesses help u will find happiness
nightshade

Ahh thankyou nightshade,, yes I believe appiness comes to us all at some point,, how could we appreciate and value it though if we didn't have the low points too,, I wish you happiness too

Wow pandora is fantastic! xx

Candid, mesmerizing, heartbreaking!...Welcome Pandora!

Ahhh thankyou liz thankyou leigh comments very much appreciated xx