your so cute michelle

What do you do when one person is always on your mind, one person is all you can think of? You take a moment think about him which causes a smile to come to your face, then get back to doing what needs doing.

What do you do when your heart starts racing the moment that one person messages you? You smile and smile, and enjoy the time you have together getting to know each other more and more

When you feel upset when you miss the opportunity to talk to them even if it is just for a moment? Your heart hits the floor, then you realize that the next time you will get to talk, that at times a person is busy, and cant't take the time you need.

What do you do when you long to hold that one person in your arms, to walk with them, talk with them, feel there heart beat, and are willing to do anything that makes them happy? You hope, and pray that he feels the same, and that someday in the future, you can be together to find out if its meant to be.

What do you do when you long to be with that person, but that person is not in that place yet? You accept and respect his feelings, cry, eat a carton of ice cream, a box of chocolates, and hope that he will realize just how great the two of you are someday.......then you begin to do things, so that you don't have time to dwell on what he is doing, who he is with, and so on........you continue living one day by day, with the hope in your heart that he will soon be at that place that your at.........if not you learn to live with the feelings you had for him, and move on with your life.

I guess each person gets to the moving on stage differently; In different ways; In different times in their lives; For different reasons depending on why they think they should move on for. Looking over the wreckage of my past the first time I faced this was with my my first marriage. My wife had come to the conclusion that her mother and her could not change me. I did not fit their expectation of what a traditional man should be. I had a mind of my own and that messed up their plans. A slave that will not conform to the shackles is a burden and a robot that can not be controlled is dangerous. I had become a monster to them. I had to realize to get my freedom that everything had to become dead to me. I did not fit into the way they wanted to control me. I had came in between the love of a mother for her daughter and a daughter for her mother. I had to get out of this polygamist situation. Three gods was just too much for me for I had been raised to believe in only one.

The second time I had to move on was when we got remarried. All was good for a while but eventually the trinity reemerged. There was no way I could serve three masters. I had to move on.

Now I have had to move on again from the death of my wife. She was everything I thought of but since she is really dead to me in physical form and not just in mind like my first two marriages it has really been difficult but I have had moved on. Crawling in the grave with her seemed illogical to me eventually to me because I had to come to the conclusion that I was not dead.