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Topic: is it wrong too.
JadeDemon's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:07 PM
so heres the thing i just found a guy that i really want to settle down with and we are thinking about getting married but we havent set a date or really popped the ? but i was wondering if it is wrong of me to not want to be given away by my biological father or any of my step-fathers but possible by my best friend (which happens to be a guy)? i want to know what people think about it

nikita5's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:08 PM
It is ur day-u should have it the way u want.I see nothing wrong with that.

giocluedart's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:09 PM
Nothing wrong with that...that was my plan at one time until I got close to my step dad

no photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:09 PM

so heres the thing i just found a guy that i really want to settle down with and we are thinking about getting married but we havent set a date or really popped the ? but i was wondering if it is wrong of me to not want to be given away by my biological father or any of my step-fathers but possible by my best friend (which happens to be a guy)? i want to know what people think about it



It's your wedding,Do what you want.flowers

Tessa02's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:10 PM
I really don't know!! Me & my father was estranged at the time & the only family member at my wedding was my Grandmother. I didn't do the formal wedding thing & did have my nephew by marriage be the ring bearer. Other than that I had a simple wedding.

Ladylid2012's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:12 PM
It's your day honey, do whatever you want..nothing wrong with that!!

JadeDemon's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:12 PM
see i was close to my step dad but i lost touch. but the reason i was wondering is cause my bilogical will find out and i dont want to cause trouble


JadeDemon's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:13 PM
cause im tight more with my fathers side then my mothers

buttons's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:13 PM
i think u should be given by who you are close to... my first marriage i picked my father in law to be lol! i so looked at him as a important figure in my life... and though the marriage didnt work out.. im telling you that was not a mistake for me ... no regrets!

JadeDemon's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:15 PM
well i would like my bi-father to be there but i dont want to be given away by him. i might my grandfather thought

JadeDemon's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:19 PM
i still dont know what to do or feel cause i just all feels like a dream

Queene123's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:32 PM

so heres the thing i just found a guy that i really want to settle down with and we are thinking about getting married but we havent set a date or really popped the ? but i was wondering if it is wrong of me to not want to be given away by my biological father or any of my step-fathers but possible by my best friend (which happens to be a guy)? i want to know what people think about it


why stress it .for he hasent really poped the question
and when he does you still shouldnt stress

zanne46's photo
Thu 04/08/10 10:36 PM

so heres the thing i just found a guy that i really want to settle down with and we are thinking about getting married but we havent set a date or really popped the ? but i was wondering if it is wrong of me to not want to be given away by my biological father or any of my step-fathers but possible by my best friend (which happens to be a guy)? i want to know what people think about it


It's about you, You are taking a vow....hopefully for life,you can choose who ever you want to give you away....

The union of marriage shouln't be based on the old tradition that daddy should give you away...

On the flip side...how does your dad feel, if he knows of your questioning????

I never chose my dad....

I had another choose my best friends father...

When the time came I felt uncomfortable...

So I went in front of the judge...:wink:

It looked like judge and jury....laughslaphead

but I felt... better....:smile:

So I feel weigh the importance....to this day...I miss the traditionality of marriage..but

I had a good talk with my son who was going to get married by a judge, the day before he was prepareing for deployment....thankfully everyone was on board with me...

There was a quick beautiful wedding put together in 3 days.....

As a mom....I got that last DANCE with my son...

You may want to consider....what ever dad(s) would be best..but if u feel so strongly to have your friend...

make sure to explain to your dad.....

He will have the best seat in the house...and

You have a lot of father daughter dances to think about...

drinks I'm exhausted now...lol

Really good luck....you'll make the right decion.



JadeDemon's photo
Fri 04/09/10 07:48 AM
Edited by JadeDemon on Fri 04/09/10 07:50 AM


It's about you, You are taking a vow....hopefully for life,you can choose who ever you want to give you away....

The union of marriage shouln't be based on the old tradition that daddy should give you away...

On the flip side...how does your dad feel, if he knows of your questioning????

I never chose my dad....

I had another choose my best friends father...

When the time came I felt uncomfortable...

So I went in front of the judge...:wink:

It looked like judge and jury....laughslaphead

but I felt... better....:smile:

So I feel weigh the importance....to this day...I miss the traditionality of marriage..but

I had a good talk with my son who was going to get married by a judge, the day before he was prepareing for deployment....thankfully everyone was on board with me...

There was a quick beautiful wedding put together in 3 days.....

As a mom....I got that last DANCE with my son...

You may want to consider....what ever dad(s) would be best..but if u feel so strongly to have your friend...

make sure to explain to your dad.....

He will have the best seat in the house...and

You have a lot of father daughter dances to think about...

drinks I'm exhausted now...lol

Really good luck....you'll make the right decion.



we are ready to be together but we have a bit of a wait before we come out with our intent. so i was just trying to get a feel for what people think.

my father really was never there so i might dance one song with him but i might dance with my grandfather and uncle more cause they have more of an impact on my life than my father. also my father really did some thing to hurt my feelings and respect for him a few years back.

i kind of brougt it up with my cousin last night and she told me about a friend of hers wedding where she had three men give her away. which im thinking i might like to do and have my grandfather, my uncle and my best friend walk me.

nvkikigirl's photo
Fri 04/09/10 07:51 AM
i agree with the others, its your wedding, and you should do what feels right and comfortable to you..drinker drinker

RoamingOrator's photo
Fri 04/09/10 07:56 AM
Actually, it's not just your wedding, you might want to ask the groom if it's okay with him first. Odds are, he won't have a problem with it, but don't just think of it as "your day" it should be "our day." Try to remember that.

JadeDemon's photo
Fri 04/09/10 07:59 AM
heres the other thing i wonder if it might to be to much. do you think it wrong of me to have my best friend give me away. when he is an ex lover\ ex boyfriend. do you think it might be to much to ask of my groom to be?

me and my ex broke up and decided to end in friendship and yes my groom to be does know. but is it selfish to ask my groom to be given his bride by her ex lover?

i dont know why i just put it that way, but that is one of the many reason i feel i should ask ?s because i still dont know my own feelings, cause as i pointed out it feels like im in a dream.a really great one that i hope i never wake from.

JadeDemon's photo
Fri 04/09/10 08:02 AM

Actually, it's not just your wedding, you might want to ask the groom if it's okay with him first. Odds are, he won't have a problem with it, but don't just think of it as "your day" it should be "our day." Try to remember that.

and that is how i have been looking at as. i have ask him and talk about it and he says that as long as it makes me happy he doesnt mind. which im happy he feels that way but still i have to clear my own mind first before coming to a complete decision

JadeDemon's photo
Fri 04/09/10 08:05 AM
and that is why im here asking ? cause i dont really have to many people to talk to about this right at this moment. so i feel i need to get this out.

RoamingOrator's photo
Fri 04/09/10 08:07 AM
Honey, if he really loves you he won't care. He'll know that what you're really doing that day is showing the world just how much you care for him.

I've always looked at the act of "giving away a bride" to be something of a warning to the groom. A gentle reminder that someone is watching to make sure you are treating this woman right. I think that's why the Dad traditionally does it, but it really should be anyone who you feel "has your back."

I hope that makes sense. It sounded better in my brain.

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