One Shot!

A man is showing off his brand new rifle to his best friend. He is so proud of the fact that this rifle is the latest model equipped with high power sight. “Just look through that sight,” he tells his buddy. “Here, scan those roof tops.” His buddy looks through the sight, and suddenly he lowers the rifle. “Oh, no!” he says. “What?” asks his friend. Swallowing hard, his buddy says, I just saw my wife making love to a guy on that roof over there.” Enraged he hands the rifle back to his friend and says, “I want you to shoot them for me.” “I can’t do that,” says his friend. “Look,” says his buddy, “I don’t know anything about guns. You are my best friend, you’ve got to do this for me,” pleads his buddy. After making the difficult decision, his friend begins to aim. His buddy says, “This is what I want you to do. I want you to kill them both! Shoot him in the balls, and her in the face!” “Holly cow!” says his friend, peering through the sight and taking aim. “I think I can get this in one shot!"


Valentine's day gift

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day.

As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision.

After careful consideration he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves.

Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves. His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time.

The clerk carefully wrapped both items but in the process got them mixed up.

The sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the panties.

The young man mailed his Valentine's Day gift with the following note:

"This special Valentines Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings.

If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove.

"These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely.

I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I'll be kissing them in the future. I hope you'll wear them Friday night for me.

Love,
Honey Bear

p.s. The sales lady says the latest style is to wear them folded down with just a little fur showing.

Wonder if he still had the girlfriend? LOL

just imagine she still lives at home and her parents opened it by mistake first